


That Look is a Problem

by Bunnylover94



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-12-04 22:25:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 28,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11564562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bunnylover94/pseuds/Bunnylover94
Summary: Boy looks at Girl in Math Class. Girl perceives him as an irritant. Boy attempts to make amends. Girl ignores Boy and gives the iciest cold shoulder she can muster. Boy gets it. Girl hates him. Not really, but she can't have him messing up her groove. She has a life too, dude.They, however, keep running in to each other. Like it's Fate or whatever. Really annoying. Especially when her life is crappy and his life is perfect. So there's that.Maybe they'd have a chance in another life. Or in another time line.





	That Look is a Problem

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I read a lot of Kim/ Jared Fanfiction. It irritates me how most portrayals of her character show her wholly obsessed with one boy. I prefer her falling for Jared after he imprints. This Kim is going to be radically different from any other stories here. Please give it a chance! Also the imprint’s speed always creeped me out, so in this story the effects will be instant but not so overwhelming. It is a long one-shot, but please leave comments.  
> *Disclaimer: I don’t own Twilight. Otherwise Bella and Paul would’ve happened, and Kim and Jared’s HEA would have been showcased for the whole world to see. *  
> * Second Disclaimer: I know his last name is Cameron in the books/movies, but Thail is better. And it just rolls off the tongue like butter on a warm skillet.*

 

***

Kim’s POV

            _Thank god for condoms!_

_They do help you in tight situations. I think Malcom was surprised and thrilled that I had a box full of them in my purse. It’s better to be safe than sorry. And I’ll be damned if I have a baby before I graduate high school. I’m so happy that I finally had some sex this month. I have nearly died from the lack of popping and locking it…So relieved…Ugh…Why do we even need buttons? Especially these tiny ones? They are always so aggravating…_

            I strutted through the high school hallway. Re-buttoned the first two top buttons on my blouse as I proudly swung my hips, while my lips released a satisfied breath. As I glanced down at my busy hands, I noticed my tits were dark crimson from one of my recent conquests. Nothing was greater than the gift of mutual consensual sex. My neck was covered in bright red bites. A bit juvenile, as I looked back on it, but hey both my recent partner and I had fun, safe, and mutually consensual sex. After all, wasn’t that all that point of sex? To enjoy oneself, be safe, and be open to communication of knowing if both parties were fine with the actions taking place in that wonderful moment. Though my neck and tits were swore from the all suckling and gnawing. The man, who I just worked out, had been a cannibal-like biter. It wasn’t as bad as it sounded, he did relieve my tension properly and thoroughly. Though I could have done without the obvious reddened bite marks. I juggled my purse in the crook of right elbow. I fluffed up my silken raven locks hair, and slid my black tank top over my hips.

            It wasn’t my fault straight men lined up for my delicious and gorgeous body, and I happily reciprocated what they offered. I couldn’t help how hot I looked or how open I was to having amazing sex. And you gotta work what your mama gave ya. Besides I was just expressing my natural privilege to dip and do any willing man. After all, everybody has only got one life to live, and they should enjoy themselves to the fullest.

            At that moment, I probably shouldn’t have skipped my last two classes to meet up with said happy hookup partner, but I really needed a breather from my life. Especially since neither my grandma nor my mom’s health wasn’t the greatest at that moment. Not to mention, my grandpa was financially and emotionally strained. He didn’t show his stress in the obvious ways, but that poor man had too much on his plate. He also never talked about his emotions ever. Like never ever.

But… His little facial twitches and hand movements gave away his true feelings, and let me know how stressed he was with our current situation. One Saturday morning, when I asked for some money for makeup. His hands clenched, but he reluctantly slid me a 20 dollar bill anyway. That was definitely not even going to be able to get me anything remotely decent to put on my face. The best I could have gotten with this was that crappy discount Halloween makeup at the local dollar store. I forcibly let go my rage and disgust for my frugal grandpa.

He eventually left for work. I then passed by the kitchen counter and found pieces of bent papers in envelopes in a bright smudgy red ink. I was unable to contain my curiosity. So I took a calming breath and then I slowly sounded each word on each of the pages. It took me a good 3 hours that morning to figure out he was behind on a lot of expenses like the phone, Wi-Fi, the cable, the electricity (which contained a warning claiming that this was this month’s last extension or that the power would be shut off), a hospital bill and most importantly the phone bill. The LTE use had caused the cost to go up to a crazy amount.

I was the person who caused the huge spike in the monthly bill, since sadly I was the only one who had a cell phone. My grandpa ironically had no phone. I had no idea how he talked to people…But maybe he was a secret telepath on Charles Xavier’s level.

 I didn’t like the shower at my house because it smelled like rat piss and roaches or that’s what I told myself. My grandpa showered at his workplace. My aunt took my grandma and her to a mutual friend’s place.

Our water had been shut off for the past five years. We had a choice pay for my mom’s medical bills or the water. We all I usually would wait at the end of the day, until all of the students and teachers left the locker rooms, and then I would take one there. I also went there on the weekends. I had access thanks to Moses.

Moses, the school Janitor, who was the sweetest guy there, but was often overlooked by many people (both teachers and students alike). I met him, after showering there one super early Monday morning. It had been 5am! Let’s say, it had been an excruciating long weekend of partying and dealing with the boozy and high as the sky teens. I had just arrived there when I met him!

My breath smelled like raspberry vodka. I had a giant multi-colored throw-up stain on my white crop top. Someone drew a giant cat devouring a sausage on my arm. My arm looked electrocuted as it was standing straight up in the air. My high heels were covered in mud.

I was crying over the destruction of my shoes, and it is a well-known fact in my family (on my dad’s side at least) that we are the world’s ugliest criers. Snot was running down my chin in giant slimy streams, my gasps were uneven and chunky clipped donkey sounds, and the bags of my eyes were droopy like a middle-aged basset hound’s.

 My eye makeup was sliding down my cheeks making me look like the ugliest raccoon-dog hybrid ever.

He was chuckling when he found me in that embarrassing state, and he was downright tickled when I told him about why I was there at 5 in the morning using the school showers.

I was so afraid he was going to rat me out to the principal at my school. He didn’t on account of how I made his dull morning exciting with my crazy self. I promised that if he lent me his keys at the end of every week that I would regal him with all of my craziness until I graduated.

Also, what really made the deal was that I vowed to clean the entire locker/ shower room, so he could get a break from cleaning the damn place for the next 3 years. He agreed. From that moment on, I greeted him and gave him food every chance I got.            

Anyway, back on to the demise of my ignorance, when I finally found out the truth about the bills. I always carried all of my beauty products (even the bulky shampoo and conditioner and Dove soap) in my giant ass purse, so there was no excuse for me to ever go home and notice that shit. My phone though…was still working…so my grandpa must have gotten an extension on mine and dropped his own! Oh, no wonder _why_ he was _so_ stingy and unhappy about lending me some cash for some expensive-as fuck-makeup! The poor man was struggling to keep this entire household afloat by himself. He obviously was stewing and worrying about all of expenses he had to deal with alone.

So the minute he returned from work, I offered to get a job. But, _damn,_ that old man was too _prideful_ for his own damn good. He told me that I should be focused on my studies. Ha! I wasn’t book smart enough to worry about that. I pushed down the urge to tell him that. I promised him I wouldn’t get a job, but I lied. I was definitely gonna get one. He needed help, even if most of the stupid money went to those greedy scumbags at the Local Utilities office (for the electricity), and the other money-grubbing jerks. Besides, maybe he would hopefully chalk it up to a Heavenly intervention of sorts. I promised him that I wouldn’t get one while I crossed my fingers behind my back.

I then rushed to Moses, and asked him for advice on how to proceed with my dilemma. He nodded his head at me in a sympathetic manner.

“Yeah, I feel ya’ darlin’. That sounds hard. Your poor ole man…Workin’ all the time.”

“But Moses, how do I go about helping the old man out with my lack of literacy skills? I could get a job, but it would be a struggle typing up the résumé and everything.”

He chuckled. “Baby girl, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do for family. I understand that you might struggle with that, but you can’t let that stop you from living your life or making your life better. You hear me?”

“Yes sir.”

“Cause life isn’t going to let you walk around with a crutch complaining about the things you can’t do. You need to duke it out, so that you can make it in this world.”

I sighed. “You’re right…Like always…Jesus…Moses, you should be a life coach.”

He chuckled and smiled warmly at me. “Kimmy, you’re a great kid. Now here’s what you gotta do.”

He then told me that he heard from one his buddies about an opening for a new janitor at the La Push Council Building. I strutted in my normal attire, or rather I borrowed some old clothes that mom used to wear. Had to make a great impression and all that. I typed up a résumé to the best of my abilities.

I walked into the employer’s office and confidently walked up to his desk where this thin and tall greasy black-haired man. He wore a plain gray suit with a horrendous green tie wrapped around his joyless neck. The guy had a flattened sneer, and he scanned me up and down like I was trash, and snootily glanced at the resume that I slaved over.

I purposely shoved down my anger and annoyance over this arrogant man. I needed this job, and it wouldn’t do to fight with the man who would indirectly and unknowingly give me the funds to save my grandpa from emotional and financial stress.

“Well, it says that your name is Kimberly Connweller, correct?”

“Yes sir.”

“Well…how lucky for you…It says that you’re still in high school. So you won’t be able to work here full time, correct?”

“Yes, sir.”

His nearly black eyes zoomed in on mine. I felt a shiver of fear run my spine.

“So then, _Kimberly_ , what makes you qualified to be a teenage janitor at the highest local governmental building in the immediate area?”

_Well, uh, I don’t know…Maybe because I actually know how to fuckin’ clean a toilet!_

“Well, sir, I have…” I rambled on with the feigned passion, and hid my nervousness as well as I could under this sneering snake of a man.

 _Jesus, when the hell did Severus Snape get reincarnated to work here in La Push, Washington?_  

After I used my stellar common sense and my amazing persuasion powers, I had gotten the cleaning job at the La Push Council Building! I was the newest and youngest janitor there, which both rocked and sucked. My co-workers loved to point out how much I had to learn for two obvious fronts: 1) I was a newbie, and 2) I was decades beneath them. There was no way that I was anywhere close to their level, and they loved to remind of how right I was.

I worked on Monday nights, Wednesday nights, Thursday nights, and long Saturday hours (mostly from double shifts). Mopping floors and doing all the other odd jobs sucked, but someone had to do it.

My personal life was the real hell, though…I also hated how my mother was suffering with her own personal pain, and there was nothing I could do to help. My grandma wasn’t any help as she too was stuck in her own little world of Hell. As such my life had wound me up tighter than the jeggings that so many people sported these days. So I jumped into the arms of the first willing man I could find. I always had sex whenever I could squeeze the time, but that day was especially necessary to enjoy myself and release my stress into the atmosphere where it belonged.

            I finally strutted into 7th period. Mr. Gibbles was rambling on about the importance of Calculus. Mr. Gibbles had a sparkling bald head. His hands were covered in curly, thick white hair. He wore a dark burgundy suit. His nose was deeply crooked like a bald eagle. This man thought he was Jesus, Buddha, JFK, and Einstein rolled up into one glorious package. Hell, no. None of those men would ever want to claim that whiney, nasally and self-important fool. He was under the delusion that his class was the most important thing that any of us _children_ would ever encounter on this lovely green Earth.

“Miss Connweller, why are you late _again_?”

_First, doll, I don’t have to explain shit to you. So, please **sit** your tight self-righteous ass down. Math and I are mortal enemies. We are like Lex Luther and Superman. All we want to do is throw down, whenever we lay our eyes on one another._

“My phone died. Had to charge it.”

Snickers echoed through the class room. Mr. Gibbles looked like he was about to explode. Everyone knew I was A) sick of this man and his bullshit, B) late from doing the do (sort of had a rep in this very small community), C) didn’t give a damn about school, and D) wanted this man to drop **_dead_**.

“Detention! Miss Connweller, maybe then it will teach you some responsibility and respect!”

_Who does he think he is?!_

_This man who openly mocks people if they don’t answer his questions at the drop of a hat. This man who leers at nearly every girl and woman at this school. Regardless of the fact that not one person of the opposite sex (or any other sex) finds him even remotely attractive._

_He insults everyone in this school by stating ignorant remarks about their lives outside of school, because he obviously knows so much more about people’s lives than they do. What a pretentious asshole! He even has the gall to physically and emotionally abuse the only woman (and the only person) who loves him unconditionally._

 A lightbulb went off in my head. I was going to teach this disgusting turd of a human being a lesson that hopefully would fuck him up for the rest of his miserable little life. 

It’s not like other people what I did, besides it would give them something interesting to spread around the school, instead of the usual, boring and unoriginal gossip.

“Aww…If you wanted more alone time with me…You should have asked Mr. Gibbles,” I falsely purred. 

I pouted my luscious lips.  His eyes immediately dunked down to my lips and then roamed down to my breasts. He shoved a hand over his face, and rubbed roughly. As if he wanted to erase the dirty deed. As if he could. The dirty old bastard.

“Alright no detention for you Miss Connweller! Just sit down.”

“Sure,” I said. I slowly dipped into my seat, and flung off my blouse and purse on the floor. My tight tank top showcased every detail of my hips and boobs.

There was a mixture of wolf whistles and gags in the background. But those people hardly mattered. I was playing a game with Mr. Gibbles, and he was going to lose. All men did with me. Well, all heterosexual men did. I looked at him longingly, and arched my back.

It worked. He blushed at my boob raise. He cleared his throat and continued on with his lecture. He started talking about how pi worked. Math class hardly mattered. To me at least.

Math wasn’t my friend. Especially when he began drawing the numbers on the board. They all swirled together like a mini-hurricane. Any other class was just as terrible. Letters and numbers were shapeshifters lurking on the chalkboards. Gym and choir were the easiest for me. Yes, choir had its’ sheet music, but I had an ear for pitch. I could match whenever or whatever the choir instructor told me to. Gym, well, was easy here at the Res. No written work required.

This was Hell. Luckily no teacher ever called on me though. Most likely, because they thought I wasted their precious time. I used to try telling them about my predicament, but they always thought I was lying or joking. So I gave up trying. I continued my struggle the way I always had: faking it. I was a straight C student, and that was an achievement for me.

The door creaked open. I saw a body I hadn’t seen in a while. I stiffened and averted my gaze from him. Jared Thail. The one straight boy I never tried adding to my lengthy conquests. He was an angel. He was way outta my league in life, not in looks. We were equal in that department.

“Well, Mr. Thail, welcome back! Class talk amongst yourselves as I update Mr. Thail on what we have been studying at the moment," he commanded without any real authority dripping from his tone. 

_Wait? Why was Mr. Gibbles trying so hard to act like an actual human being to Jared? Like the guy needs an extra hand-out! C’mon. Why this whole town kisses him and his family’s asses? I’ll never know…_

The guy had cash out the wazoo. The Thails were the richest family on the whole reservation. Straight As (he was a damn genius). His grades were so astounding that he was our class’ Valedictorian and not to mention he was the star Quarterback (like seriously!). This boy defied the high school hierarchy standards and stereotypes. He never went to the big parties, because he _really_ had no desire to drink alcohol or have any sex. He had loving parents who showed their love and devotion openly and constantly whenever they got the chance. Which he reciprocated and didn’t try to pull the whole teenager embarrassed by their parents’ shtick.

Full support and empathy from the community were guaranteed for the Thails, whose ancestry was supposedly traced back to the legendary spirit warriors. He had loyal friends in his corner like Paul, and the football team.

Though recently, Jared had been spotted hanging more and more around Sam and his “gang”. _Yeah, right._ _I’ll believe it when I see it. Like Sam is actually a gangster. Ha. Don’t make me laugh. What would they even do to people? Stare at them to death? Sammy isn’t capable of that hard life, besides if they were a “gang”, don’t these idiots understand that the Council would have shut them down for good, if they even smelled a whiff of trouble. What of bunch bored idiots._

Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah, Thail was sweet…Too sweet, whenever people asked me…Which they never did. But that’s what I would have responded with.

Sweet as hell; he treated everyone with respect. Always had been. Not just the popular crowd. Even before he started hanging out with Sam and his so called “gang”.  He talked to geeks, nerds, goths, artistic loners, the gay kids, other athletes, teachers, librarians, Moses and even the bad kids like me. He was a fuckin’ gentleman to every person he encountered of those who claimed to be a member of the female sex.

He had both sets of his grandparents alive and involved in his life. These two sets of grandparents had all their mental faculties intact, no killer diseases crippling their bodies, and just happened to live under the same roof. He had a sweet as pie little sister named Grace, and a dependable older brother named Ralph. His little sister just entered elementary school.

His overall standing in life pissed me off, because he had literally everything I wanted and needed. And what made it even worse was that he had zero faults on the surface. He seemed to be nothing but peaches and cream. And that heightened my resolve to dislike this little man’s existence. Seriously, why was this guy so fuckin’ perfect?

I, on the other hand, came from a lower-tier middle class family. Straight C’s (which were a big deal for me). Loving parents, well in spirit at least… My father more than my mother…I would kill to see my father again, even for a moment. Only really had one set of grandparents who claimed me. My grandpa showed me love in his own way, when he wasn’t busy supporting the entire household on his income alone. My grandma did love me. Just not like she used to, though, on the account of both of our minds had changed since I was a middle schooler. They, however, were tied up with so many personal demons that it was near impossible to get the complete love I needed from time to time. _Oh! And no fuckin’ siblings for me to protect or to shield me from this shitty population. Or help_ _me with all the_ _fuckin’ money problems._  

I knew that my grandparents needed to deal with the more pressing matters than pay attention to me, like bills and crippling diseases. They, also, had many circumstances (money, rumors about my ancestors that suggested we were related to the traitorous spirit warrior of long ago, and my grandpa’s no bullshit personality) that blocked my family from gaining empathy from most of these so called good people, but it didn’t matter. My “auntie” was a good person, but she had only recently joined our family. She was adopted into our home only about 6 months ago. She was a sweetheart, but she was still a stranger. It took me ages to completely let my walls down and guide new people in the inner workings of my life. 

Also, no friends, mostly acquaintances who only tended to keep me around for the big blowout parties. They loved how lively and unpredictable I was. Whether I was smoking weed or mixing some concoction of Fireball and dry vodka. I was the one that these bastards called for the fun shit to go down. Community ties for me sizzled away after the last keg was slurped and guzzled. I wasn’t exactly a contestant for the local role model of the year for most people, especially parents around the La Push and Forks area.

Parents thought I was part of the infamous “bad crowd” or rather the ringleader who led all of the teens into her wicked graces to taint their obviously pure souls. They always condemned my behavior, my clothes, my makeup, my lack of cash and my grades. They pegged me as the source of evil temptation and causing their little angels to dive off the saintly pool into the murky sinful waters that always seemed to swirl around me. These bitches were delusional about their brats in thinking that their kids were perfect, and the teens like _me_ were the sinful spawn of the world. I wasn’t the problem, their kids were; and they needed to get fuckin’ over themselves.

All in all, he was the poster child for sainthood, and I was the recruiter for Lucifer. We couldn’t have had been farther apart in the peripheral view of this town and life choices. And yet, we felt even further thanks to my feigned coldness and genuine irritation I always presented to him, whenever he and I happened to inhabit the same room. Which was rare, but still I couldn’t **_tease_** myself with an idea of anything related to him, even if it was just friendship. He had the opportunity to leave La Push; that was something that was never going to be available for me **ever**. Even if I worked as hard as Moses advised, and strove for a better life. Being around him would only have had continuously reminded me what I would never have: an escape from this stupid place. And I would end up loathing the poor boy who had done nothing to me. Forming any connection with the golden boy would only leave my armor charred.

I glanced back at dear Jared. His sweet tanned caramel skin was a bit worn, covered in scratches and bruises. Probably from football. His back faced me. He had grown at least a foot. He was taller than the 6’ foot doorway. His broad shoulders had dips and curves like a mountain range. His raven locks were shaved down Marine style. Hell, his shoulders could support cement blocks. He had always had an athletic build, but now he was sauntering into Superman territory. His pecs were sharp and tight. They were tearing through his black t-shirt.

I looked away. Didn’t want him seeing me. Because once he saw me he was gonna be nice. Just nice. Didn’t want nice. Didn’t need it.  He would see it as a moment of kindness, and I would part with a hallow gap in my heart from all coldness he would wipe away. I refused to have this petty town drag me down with rumors that I the infamous Kim Connweller was attempting to “corrupt” their golden boy; which was exactly how this superficial and dimwitted place would perceive it as.

I felt a warmth surround me. A burning sensation that simmered my flesh, and warmed my thick and hallowed walls.

_What the Hell? Did Mr. Gibbles forget to turn the air on again? It feels like the fuckin’ Sahara Desert for Pete’s sake…_

I was wrapped in a thick blanket of comfort and a shake of wild aggression. It consumed me. I hated that smothering feeling that engulfed my body.

“Hey,” said a velvety voice. That voice always had me internally swoon. Mister Jared Thail was the only guy at school who made me feel secure and respected, but also irritated. He was lucky. He didn’t have a hard life. He never had to deal with crap life shoved at the rest of us.

“What?” I rushed out in a clipped tone.

I wanted to smack myself. Although, he annoyed the hell outta me at his near perfection at times, a part of me always felt guilty for being so damn cold to him. _But I couldn’t have the golden boy falling for my dastardly ways_ …So I’m sure he could have gotten over one girl who rejected his glorious presence. Not to mention, he had many admirers, so he wasn’t likely to feel the sting of rejection from one little lady.

 _Say hey back you ignoramus or say nothing at all!!_ But why was this guy talking to me of all the people in this room?

“Hey Thail, what can I do for you?” I sighed unenthusiastically. 

Jared paused. “Kim, we’ve known each other since elementary school. You can call me by my first name.”

“I could, but I won’t” I said coldly. Why did he give a damn? He had so many worshippers at his altar, but he had to have everyone love and admire him…It pissed me off!

“Kim…”He sighed slowly. “Can I borrow your notes?”

“Sorry buddy-boy. No can do.” I turned to him.

I was about to tell this boy that notetaking was not my thang. But…I stopped my vocal cords from uttering anything resembling the common tongue. I was yanked from reality by his amazing eyes. They swirled around in deep shards of deep oak brown, and sprinkled with orange specs. They held a deep sorrow, and yet a glimmer of joyful hope. Until they really focused on me, and then they morphed into the warmest of awe and respect. The oddest thing was that warmth was aimed at me.

Me, Kimberly Connweller, the wild party girl who was scrutinized and used by many people in this life (with the exception of Mr. Moses and my family). Sure, the people I fucked respected me at least, but they didn’t care about **_me_** , they just cared about the pleasure I could provide them with. But Jared Thail, who pissed me off with every ounce of my being, was staring at me deeply with such compassion and unabashed curiosity. It confused the Hell outta me.

Had his eyes always been this enchanting? I never knew until that moment. I was expecting some resistance to my rudeness, but Jared only looked as stuck as I was. Which thrilled my partially functioning brain more than it should have.

“Ms. Connweller, please stop distracting Mr. Thail.”

Snickers resounded and some girls murmured something along the lines of shameless whore. Wow. Ouch. If they wanted him, then they should have had just pursued him, instead they assumed that I wanted this goodie-good.

_Wrong! I would rather saw off my legs than get with this boy!_

Then my mind churned around on Mr. Gibble’s words.

_Stop distracting. Distracting. Distraction._

_A distraction. A distraction! Is that how everyone sees me? Just some bimbo who hopelessly and tragically lusts after every man on planet Earth? I don’t even like him. He irritates me more than anything._

My eyes jerked away from Jared. My skin burned with outrage. The words struck through my armor. I had been through too much in my life to deal with this bullshit added on top of every other crappy thing.

_Whatever, these people don’t matter._

The bell rang at that moment. Finally the end of the day had arrived, and I could leave this hellhole. I sprinted out of my seat. People poured out of classrooms, and crammed the hallways. I pushed past them.

“Bitch,” muttered someone.

“Wow. Guess she really has to bang someone.”

“She’s really full of herself.”

“Little bitch thinks she’s better than everyone.”

“I don’t know. Maybe she’s just having a bad day.”

“Yeah. Right. More like she’s late for sucking a dick.”

“Ew…”

“Hey just saying’ babe.”

“Well, not around me.”

“Dude, make sure she’s at Saturday’s party.”

“Definitely, can’t have a party without ole Kim.”

_They seriously need to move. The hallway isn’t their personal playground…They aren’t as special as they think they are._

“Kim! Kim!” shouted a deep voice. A deep voice that sent a shiver down my spine. He sounded familiar…Probably was the guy I fucked. What the Hell! I need something or someone to erase the weirdness of what just happened.

“What baby?” I purred. I turned around expecting my recent conquest. It was Jared quirking a dark confusion-filled eyebrow at me. I backed away and coughed into my hand. I crossed my arms and starred at him suspiciously.

Jared looked concerned and even more confused. “Kim, you raced outta there like a bat out of Hell. I need to give you something.”

I laughed deeply. “Besides your great eye contact, I think I’m set cowboy.”

He blushed. “No. Here’s your blouse and your purse.” Sure enough, this class-A gentleman held out my blouse and my purse. Was this guy just a dream? Nobody did things like this…without wanting something in return.

I looked at him. I snatched them both out of his hands, and then I stalked away. My heels clicked roughly against the dirt-stained hallway. I slid my purse back onto my right elbow crook, and shoved my blouse into my purse.

“You’re welcome!” He shouted.  His voice sounded a tinge too arrogant for me. Like he had done me a favor by retrieving my belongings. Acting like he was a great and powerful savior who had died for me and my sins when I never asked him to do anything for me. And never would have dreamed to do so!

I stopped and turned right back around.

“What’s your game, Thail?” I sneered.

His eyes widened. He started to protest while putting up his hands in surrender, “No games, I swear!”

I glowered at him.

“Oh please… You had that thirsty look pointed at me, while Gibbles was rambling on ‘bout pi. You definitely want a piece of me.”

His throat rose and fell nervously. He shook his head. “No, I don’t want anything along those lines from you. I really don’t. I just want to talk. To you.”

“Talk? Ha. Honey, I doubt that.” I squinted my eyes at him.

“It’s the truth.” He replied.

I pressed my lips together. “You want to hook up?”

He blanched. “No! God, no!”

_If he didn’t want to have sex, then why bother talking to me? I don’t want to deal with this weird, annoying (but sweet) boy. Shut up, internal mushy Kim! This guy should know better than just stare at people without permission. Though, to be honest I was equally staring as hard as him as he was with me. And the staring wasn’t that bad…Enough! I have more important things to do than deal with this guy…_

I crossed my arms across my chest, and jutted out my hips to the side. I pressed my lips together, and narrowed my eyes at him.

“Oh…So you’re not here for sex…Then what do you want, Thail? I am a very busy lady.”

“I just want to talk.”

A beat of silence passed us as I scrutinized Jared as he anxiously waited to collect his thoughts without a single drop of sweat sliding down his forehead.

_He doesn’t even react like a normal person._

_Unbelievable._

“I don’t believe you.”

“What?!” His eyebrows shot up to his forehead.

“Don’t play dumb with me Thail.”

“I’m not. I don’t understand what-”

“Thail, you were staring hard at my face like some kind of annoying puppy. Specifically like the needy one who was in a pound and desperately needs a one-way ticket to safety and all that love and devotion shit.”

Jared blinked, and then recovered. He gulped nervously. “Kim no, that was an accident.”

Oh. Ho. I’ve heard that line before, but not when it came to staring. Hell, why did some guys think it was okay to touch my body without my permission? And then get affronted when confronted about it, while blaming my clothing choices. Yeah, right. They obviously needed to learn about the concept of respect.

I arched my eyebrow and placed my hand on my hip. “Accident? We weren’t two cars who collided into each other. We are two kids who locked eyes with each other and it was a weird thing. You had this pathetic love struck gleam in your eye.” It wasn’t that bad, but I had to get this dude to leave me alone.

His shoulders stiffened and then he shuffled his feet around nervously. “I don’t think that I was really looking at you like that…”

I arched an eyebrow, and gave a humorless laugh. “Really? Because you were looking at me as if I was the lost Hanging Gardens… All that dopey emotion pouring out of you, as if you had professed your love for me, after devoting your entire life to find me.”

A loud boom of masculine laughter echoed around the lockers. I craned my neck to find the source…Paul Lahote. He was smirking in my direction. Most likely at Jared, I’d wager. It hit me, it must be one of those stupid bets Lahote normally did with girls. That dude was a real heartbreaker. Jared never struck me as the type of guy who’d do that. But people were capable of anything.

Examining Jared as I turned back to analyze his gorgeous and sweet face. Jared Thail looked down. His wonderfully dark tan cheekbones conveyed guilt and anger. Most likely from being caught first-hand. He started shaking. I finally found a flaw in this guy’s persona. He could not own up to his shit. Or have the guts to treat the town whore like a normal person. Instead, he wanted to use and abuse me for his own benefit. Probably wanted to prove to Lahote he had as much balls as every self-identified man in this school.  He was even trying to be _nice_ about it. Like he was doing me a favor, as even having gone to appear chivalrous by returning my stuff.

I pushed against Jared’s vibrating chest. “Stop,” I commanded as I pressed my dark caramel hands into his chest.

Jared’s tremors stopped. First, he tried to play with me, and then he pretended to show me some respect. My armor didn’t need any more scorch marks from this ass hat.

_Damn you Thail!_

My hand flattened against his broadened chest. I felt his heart grind against my cinnamon scented palm. This boy, who I had always assumed treated everyone with respect and decency, was not as annoyingly sweet as I thought he was. He was like most people that I had the pleasure of encountering in my life: a big fat disappointment.

My eyes flickered over to where Paul was. I released a toxic breath. I slammed his oak brown gaze with an icy glare. 

He flinched at my intense gaze.

I pointed my finger in his face. “Don’t come near me again. Or there’ll be Hell to pay.”

He looked shaken and lost. Jared nodded slowly after a short moment. I stalked off and purposely knocked into Lahote’s shoulder.

“Aren’t ya late for your rabies shots, Lahote?”

His face darkened. His shoulders started shaking hard like an overgrown human maraca. Lahote _then_ stepped into my personal space. Who did that? Rude as Hell! Lahote really needed to learn how to act like a civilized person. Otherwise, he would get a beat down. Jared rushed down to where we were standing at and pushed him away from me.

_Aww…Now he’s making up for his shitty games._

“Hey Thail, maybe you should get Lahote a shock collar!” I hollered.

Lahote trembled even harder against Jared’s grip. “Not helping, Kim”, he grunted.

I snarled out, “Wasn’t trying’ to!” I turned and walked away from the two struggling men.

Pulling my phone out of my purse, I noticed I had three new messages from a guy interested in my Tinder account. I tapped out my “excited” reply to the guy.

C u soon babe!!! ;)

_Thank God for Fridays! And for that box of condoms!_

***

Later that day or more accurately early evening

My black tank top and blouse hung on the ranch-scented torn red leather passenger seat. The radio thumped and bleated out studio tech-infected notes.

“OH, Baby!”

I internally rolled my eyes. This guy must’ve never had **good** make out sessions **!** Hello, basic middle school milestones. It was a wonder this guy ever got laid.

He was definitely getting himself off. I knew I wasn’t going to get any pleasure from this dipshit. A guy who went nuts from a true make out, wasn’t one who would relieve my tension. I nearly punched this guy’s throat. His moaning was annoying as shit. I ultimately held myself back.

I purred instead, “Gorgeous, you are the best guy I’ve ever met…”

_Why am I stroking this dummy’s ego again? It sure as Hell, ain’t cause of his kissing skills. He has to be the worst kisser I’ve had this week._

I was smooching the third most gorgeous bare chested guy from Forks. He said his name was Trevor or something. I didn’t care. I needed the distraction. _Stupid Jared Thail and his fake ass!_

I began to unzip his faded blue Levi jeans. I bent over kissing each of his tiny black pecs. He was beautifully built, but he was nothing compared to Jared-

_Kimmy, focus! We have a petty pretty boy to suck. Where the fuck is that condom?_

I heard a tap on his car door window. A large dark caramel hand appeared through the window. I caught a serious face etched with an overwhelming stress pouring out of his temple.

_Boy. Sam really needs a spa day!_

I rolled down T-something’s car window. “Problem, officer?”

His eyes popped when he registered my voice. “Kim?”

I smirked in amusement. Sam was adorable when he was confused. His face always gave away his true emotions. His eyes held deep black bags under his eyes.

Ironically, he always reminded of my stuffed wolf at home who I named Mr. Strong. He had a matching frown line.

I leaned out the window, and blew him a kiss. “Sammy dear, it has been too long! How’s life?”

He slumped and rubbed his temple. “What are you doing here, Kim?”

I thumped my ring finger on my lips. “Sliding to third base with this sexy man.”

Sam choked. His normally serious façade crumpled. He looked mortified to find me in this situation, although he has found me in worse ones before…So he shouldn’t have been that surprised to me about to finish the dirty deed.

“Something bothering you, hon?”

Sam ignored me and faced T-something. “I think you should go home son. And Kim…I’ll take you home after I drop by to check on Emily.”

Said guy immediately re-zipped his jeans. He fumbled around to the front seat to yank down his t-shirt off the dash board. He dug through his pockets to slide open his cell phone.

I scrunched my face as I clambered out of the car door. “Sammy…I’m a big girl now. I can take care of myself.”

Sam ducked his head. “I know that, Kim. I’m just offering help. You don’t have to take it, if you don’t want to.”

I grabbed my tank and my blouse off the seat, and pulled my tank top over my chest. I yanked my giant Prada bag out of the back sleeve pouch on the passenger side. I leaned down and waved at my fling.

The guy looked at me for a full 30 seconds, before jetting off to Forks. My mouth unleashed an aggravated breath. What was I expecting? A goodbye kiss? That guy had the same agenda as me: getting off properly.

The problem with engaging in no-strings hookups, there were no deep tender moments to savor. A tiny part of me wanted to have that intimate moment with another human, but the more rational side of me knew that was not possible in my life at the moment.

My head swung in Sam’s direction, and I nodded over to his beat-up 70’s blue Chevrolet. “Think the ole gal can get us there without dying. You took her to the car doctor, right?”

Sam shook his head at me. He went to his passenger door, and opened the door for me.

“Such a gentleman, Samster. Emi’s such a lucky lady”, I cooed.

Sam laughed. “I try.”

Yes, he certainly did. Opening doors for every woman was always Sam’s way of showing his appreciation and respect. A rare thing for regular women nowadays. And an even less offered gesture for a girl like me. Boys tended to think that since I was sexually active, I wouldn’t give a damn about how I was treated.

False! Respect was a golden ticket, and it should be extended to everyone.             Like Sam, he worked off his butt for this reservation’s safety. But many tended to gossip about Sam and his group. Most likely, because they didn’t know the real Sam. Funny thing about small towns, just because you knew someone. Doesn’t mean you really knew them.

People were really split right down the middle on what happened between him and Leah. The biggest question was why did they care? Their love lives weren’t their business.

Although, some people on the Res hated Sam for what he did to Leah. I didn’t understand what the big deal was. Sure, he chased after Emily almost immediately after he returned from his little disappearing act. Then she moved in with him after that little bear attack… But he broke up with Leah before trying to pursue Emily. Honestly, what did Leah and company expect? That they were going to live happily ever after?

_Oh, please. Fairy tale romances don’t exist! Their relationship was just stupidly forced love. They only stayed together, because it made sense, not because of love! They had been high-school sweethearts! They weren’t going to last._

_Emily and Sam might have a better chance…but who knows? Relationships are hard. And people change... I mean look at Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie…At least though they don’t have all those kids…Like damn…Relationships are work and some people just can’t make it work. It happens._

The clunky truck pitched us around as we headed down the forest path. He veered left and killed the engine. Sam’s rustic house was pouring out flowers and rustic porch furniture. The house was a bright baby blue. A couple other cars were parked outside his house. A bright engine red truck and a beat-up brown four door Lexus cluttered the driveway. Lights were streaming out of his front windows. I could hear loud chatter coming from the inside…One of those voices sounded like Jared…

My heart quickened. My stomach dropped. My dark caramel hands tightened around my purse straps.

 _I don’t want to see him! He tried to play me_! _I may be a slut, but at least I’m honest about who I am._

“Hey Sam, I’m just gonna stay in here. I have to rearrange my face, and I need privacy to do so.”

Sam glanced at me, and smiled softly. “You look fine Kim. Your lipstick is only faded, not smudged. Your cover-up, foundation, and blush aren’t worn or runny. Same with your mascara, which is not clumpy. Your eyeliner is presentable and elegant. So I think you’re good to go.”

            With a raised eyebrow and a devious smirk, I said, “Well. Well. Samster. Master Gentleman, Serious La Push Protector, and all-around make-up expert. Quite an impressive resume’. Maybe you should open your own make-up boutique, because let’s face it…La Push needs you Sam.”

He rolled his eyes, placed his hand on his heart while he batted his eyelashes. “Sadly I’m too busy dealing with my duties to the tribe, and taking care of my mom, my Emily, and my sisters. Otherwise I would open my dream shop.”

I laughed.

“Yeah, you do have to deal with all of La Push’s mutts and your own pack of women.”

A secret gleam of delight entered his eyes. “If you don’t want to come in, you don’t have to. But Emily did just bake cookies.”

I glanced at him. Then sighed. “You know, I’ve really wanted to try Emily’s cooking. But I’ve never had the time, but better late than never. Hmm… It better be good Samster, or you’re gonna pay.”

Rolling his eyes, he opened his door, then mine.

“Thank you, Sammy dear,” I said while I unclicked my seat belt.

“You’re welcome, Kim.”

I grabbed my busty Prada bag, and flipped my hair over my chest to get the desired fluff look. I stalked up to the porch behind Sam in my gorgeous shoes. I carefully avoided any mud spots I spotted with my squinted eyes.

Sam opened the door, and gestured for me to enter. I did while parting my hair to the left side of my head. My eyes glued on this bright eggshell white girl with greasy hair. Poor girl really needed a shower or some Sun at the very least.

“Who let the Vampire Queen in?” I murmured while I examined this hopeless slumped girl with dimmed milk chocolate eyes.

All necks snapped in my direction. If this were an anime, I would have sweat dropped at their weirdness. Instead, I smirked in Paul’s direction. His face was covered in deep red cuts and purpling bruises.

“Have any fun at the vet’s office, Lahote?” I asked.

Some of these guys dropped their jaws at me, and others just snorted. Paul just started rattling around, until the eggshell girl gripped his arm, and he slowed down.

He then sneered at me. “Have fun sucking penises, Cuntweller?”

“Paul,” Sam warned, “be nice to Kim or I’m kicking your ass out.”

Paul nodded his head stiffly.

 “Thank you Samster,” I cooed while I winked at Paul. Paul glared at me.

“No problem.” Sam started his worship of Emily’s body.

“Apologize Paul…”he commanded in between kissing his Emily’s face and neck.

Paul gritted out, “Right, sorry Kim.” Seriously though why was Lahote listening to Sammy boy like he was his father? Lahote never listened to anyone except himself. The fact that he was obeying Samster like he was his leader or something. It was great that Lahote was bowing his head to Sammy like weaker dog would. It was hilarious. And honestly, it was about damn time Lahote showed some respect to someone else besides his own selfish ass.

My eyes crinkled in amusement and my head threw back a bark of laughter. “Ha. I guess old filthy dogs can learn new tricks. ”

He started revving up his shoulder tremors again. The pasty girl jumped up and rubbed his shoulders.

“Looks like Sam found a leash for his wild mutt after all,” I muttered. Snickers resounded around the living room.

I turned over to where Sam and Emily were intertwined. They were embracing each other desperately. I rolled my eyes and found the cookie plate. Snatching up two, I gleefully bit into one. There was a napkin case next to the cookie plate, so I plucked three napkins and wrapped the second cookie delicately into them. I slid that one into my inner purse pocket which had a stash of Ziploc bags and Kleenex. Peeling out one of the Ziploc bags and pulled the sealed strip apart, the cookie glided down and was locked. I politely placed it in my purse pocket.

Pivoting my body to where pasty girl was, I primly sat down on a cushion right next to her. I slowly munched on my cookie. I savored every gooey morsel. Afterwards, I opened my purse and grabbed a baby wipe and a mirror. I navigated the stubborn pieces stuck on my upper lip off to the wipe.

With the mirror still open, I plucked out my lipstick and my lip liner and applied my products carefully. Patting my lip with a Kleenex and dropped my lip accessories into my purse. Once I was finished and wholly gorgeous, I turned to the eggshell girl.

“So, tell me. How did you meet big, tall and obnoxious?” I asked her. Jabbing my finger in Lahote’s direction while I clicked my mirror shut.

“Umm…well…today…actually,” she told me.

Uh. Huh. I didn’t believe her for a second.

My lashes lowered at her. “Uh. Huh. If that’s the story you want to give, be my guest.”

She swung her head to me in surprise. “What are you-?”

“Implying? Saying? The way you reached for him, shows me you guys have met long before today.”

She blushed. Finally color appeared on this girl’s face! I examined this girl. She had the older Eurocentric beauty, with her lush dark mahogany hair and her pasty eggshell skin. Her figure was petite and straight build. Pretty girl, and lucky that she didn’t need to wear any make-up. She looked drained though and restless.             “Well…we met earlier this week, actually.”

“How unfortunate for you.” I leaned into her ear, “Lahote is the biggest asshole on the West Coast, and I’m surprised you’re still hanging around him…”

Out of the corner of eye, I saw Lahote gritting his teeth. One of the taller brats, who I thought resembled a walking tree trunk started sniggering. Was that Jacob Black or someone else in the class beneath mine? Hmm…

She batted her eyelashes. “Actually, he’s been nothing but sweet to me since the moment I’ve met him.”

I gasped in mock surprise, and turned to Lahote. “You mean to tell me that he is a sweetheart. Who would’ve thought the wild mutt has manners.”

Some guy choked while sipping a glass of water. His name escaped me. He hung around Black constantly, and he was always running his pie hole.

Lahote snarled at me, “Shouldn’t you be throwing out some guy’s back, Cuntweller?”

“Paul!” shouted Sam. He looked like he wanted to punch Lahote in jaw.

_Dear sweet Samster always having my back._

I wanted to retort, but Eggshell interjected defending me from his rude nicknames. “Paul, stop calling her that, and stop making your jerk retorts. It’s rude! Apologize to her.”

_Who is this white girl? People don’t normally defend me. Even in my family, in part thanks to how I was raised, I was taught to stick up for myself. Samster did defend me from time to time. He still does… But he isn’t always around for me at other places like school, local stores and the La Push Council’s building. I’ve normally had to fight for myself every chance I got._

Lahote huffed indignantly. “Fine. Sorry Cu- Hmm…Kim.”

What was going on with Lahote where he was suddenly respecting people and obeying people when they told him to do something?! Did he get hit in the head or something? Lahote had been the biggest jackass in La Push for ages, ever since his father walked out on him, and his mama died. Still, maybe Sam’s good nature was suddenly rubbing off on him.

I smirked, as I looked in Lahote’s eyes. “Guess miracles do exist.” Lahote huffed at me. Oh. _So now he wants to act like the mutt he smells like?_

She stuck out her hand to me, “Hi! I’m Bella Swan.”

Ahhh…So this was the infamous Bella Swan who dated Edward Cullen. His whole family was instantly disliked by the older La Push residents around here. Honestly, they were such judgmental assholes. They needed to get a life. Plus, even though he and his family appeared different than most, it didn’t mean that they should be treated like freaks of nature. Rude! People needed a better hobby than gossiping!

She made her choice to be with him. There was always a chance for her heart to be broken, if she never realized that…Well maybe she gained a valuable life lesson. Or maybe not, but then again what does a girl like me know about love?

She already had a town who hated her mother for walking out on Charlie. He was a nice guy, but people did that to each other all the time. Why were they so shocked? I did not have enough patience to understand those moronic locals.

 “Connweller. Kim Connweller. La Push’s resident “Slut.” But I prefer to be called a happy teenager who just enjoys having consensual and safe sex with willing men.” I shook her hand.  She looked at me with a blank expression. _I guess I broke her?_

Some guys (the two smallest ones and Black) gagged at my statement. Why? I didn’t know. But did they expect me to lie about who the hell I was according to this place’s rumor mill? Or rather what I should be seen as by those hypocrites…

Honestly, Sam’s group needed to take a chill pill.

Her face then flashed a menagerie of emotions and then she squirmed. Ole Bells looked way too uncomfortable. She glanced at me shyly, and pulled a strand of dehydrated hair from her face.

“I’ve seen you around actually…”

I quirked an eyebrow.

 _So she probably saw me making out and/or fooling around with someone not too long ago. No wonder the girl looks so uncomfortable. Most likely, she doesn’t want to bring up the event in question…After all girls are taught that sex before marriage equals evil. Among other things…Maybe her mom stressed having sex before marriage or finding love is trouble._             I flipped my hair over my shoulder and leaned back in my seat. My face was neutral as my heart thumped against my ribcage.

“All good things, I hope.” I coolly stated. I pouted my lips at her and pushed up my boobs.

She looked frazzled. Poor girl. My eyes were glued on her frumpy hair-do.

“May I ask you a question, Bella?”

She quirked an eyebrow, “Sure…”

“When was the last time you washed your hair? It looks like a robin could make a nest in your hair.”

I heard some shocked noises from the rest of the peanut gallery, but they didn’t matter. Especially if they were from Black, because that boy had no room to talk about anyone’s hair situation. His cropped hair suited him more than his previous precious wannabe Thor lengths. 

“Leave her the fuck alone, Connweller.” Said Lahote.

“C’mon, Kim. Bells has been through enough already.”

_She apparently doesn’t have enough shampoo and conditioner though…_

“Guys, the lady has a point…Bella’s hair looks gross.”

Lahote and Black glowered at the honest dude. The strange motor mouth only shrugged. He looked familiar like I had wanted to punch his face in before. He then proceeded to grin and wiggle his eyebrows at me. Dude stepped into my personal bubble and gave me a cheesy smile.

 “Hello, Miss Kimmy, I’ve heard many things about you.”

_Duh. Nearly everyone has heard of me. Rumors tend to portray people in whatever light they want to. He better not try to pull a fast one on me or his balls will fall._

“Names Quil Ateara the V. It’s a pleasure to be in the presence of such a lovely lady. Jared has told us about you, but he failed to mention how funny and gorgeous you are.” He wiggled his eyebrows once again at me.

_Ah! So he’s the grandson of one of the council members…Makes sense…I might have seen him around when I was working at my job._

I looked at Ateara and said, “I guess he also forgot to tell my _bite_ is worse than my bark.”

Ateara laughed. His eyes twinkled with respect (odd, especially from a dude I just met) and humor.

“You’re very beautiful, Kimmy. You want to go out sometime if no one else steps up to take care of a stunner like you.”

_One word, honey: Space. And I love it. Like really love it…_

A low growl rumbled out from the wall of biceps that blocked my sight from detecting the source. I raised an eyebrow. I gently pushed this fool out of personal bubble. He seemed unaffected and thankfully moved away from me. Good thing he wasn’t as clueless as some men were who just wouldn’t take no for an answer.

“Since when did Sammy get a dog?” I murmured.

The assembled brainless oafs stiffened. There was no way they could hear me, right?

“Well technically, we’re- Ow! Paul that really hurt.” Whined the bumbling Ateara the V while he rubbed his reddening pec.

“That was the plan, dumbass.” Sneered Paul.

 “What? Guys. Kim is here. Jared can stop talking about how he fucked up today at school.”

“Quil…” breathed a shy-looking guy in the background.

Why would Jared Thail worry about me? More importantly, why would these assholes care about my feelings? I never talked to any of these people before today.

I turned to look at him. He ducked his head. 

“Well, he should for acting like the self-righteous asshole he is.”

Lahote glared at me. “What’s your problem, Connweller?”

I raised an eyebrow while looking completely impassive. “Everything and everyone in this town who thinks they do or say terrible things and assume that they are justified in what they do or say. By continuing to act like pricks who have everything handed to them on a shiny spoon.” Then I pointedly looked at Jared. Jared eye’s widened.

Lahote scoffed, “That’s why you have an attitude, because you have a problem with my boy Jared?”

_Yes, yes…Hmm…and let’s see…Yes!_

I snorted. “My personal problems with Thail are my problem. They aren’t anyone else’s business.”

Lahote snorted. “You’re just like your SOB grandpa aren’t you?”

My eyes narrowed. “What the Hell is that supposed to mean, Lahote?”

“That you’re so fuckin’ cold.”

_Cold? I’m not a fuckin’ refrigerator, Lahote._

“I’m sorry, my human ways bother you Lahote. Especially since you prefer to spend your time chasing your tail around.”

Lahote glared at me. Stepping near me in my personal space. What was these burly airheads and their love for throwing good sense out the window? Also how did none of them learn about the rules of personal space?!

A deep growl erupted from the background.

“When did Sam’s place become infested with invisible mutts?” I muttered.

Little Swan jumped off the couch, and she put herself between the raging beast and me. This girl was tiny like barely 5’0.5.

“Kim…what did Jared do to you?”

Honestly, this girl had such concern in her tone that I was caught off guard. My heart beat slowed down, and I had to fight a warm feeling rising in my chest. I didn’t want my armor leaving me. Ever. 

I glanced down to remove an invisible hair from my leg. I avoided looking at the irritating clowns, and stared only in Bella’s direction.

“He irritated me. Anyway what were we talking about?”

“Hair. Especially hers cause it was gross looking-OW! Paul that really hurt!” Chimed in the local blabber mouth.

“Then stop opening your dumb mouth.”

“But I have so much to say, because I hate having all these thoughts in my head.”

“Shut up, Quil.”

“But Paulie…”

I blankly examined these idiots.

“Um…Kim?” asked an overwhelmed-sounding Bella.

“Oh. Right.” I turned to her. “When was the last you washed your hair?”

She blinked. “I think a couple weeks ago…Maybe longer.”

My face cringed. “Oh. Hell. No. C’mon. Samster we’re using your bathroom sink.” I pointed at the burly and boisterous peanut gallery.

“Alright, do what you need to do Kimmy.”

“Thank you Samster. No one use the bathroom.” I commanded. As I aimed my gaze, mostly at Lahote and Black who both nodded reluctantly.

I turned to Bella. “We have serious work to do. Let me see if the Pantene Shampoo is in here,” I said while shuffling through my purse to find it.

Wrenching it out of my bag, I hollered, “Perfecto!”

One of the less burly guys stage-whispered, “Why the Hell does she have shampoo in her purse?”

“Why the Hell wouldn’t I?” I said while stamping my hand to my hip.

They all looked at me like I was insane. Honestly, these boys needed help. Perhaps divine help would have helped them.

“Kim…”

“Can it, Thail. Unless you want to be twinsies with Lahote.”

I pulled her ass off the couch and dragged her behind me.

“Someone’s pushy,” snarled a “chipper” Leah.

“Someone’s cranky,” I mocked.

She sneered at me. “What’s wrong Cuntweller, forcing strangers to be your fake friends now?”

“Ah. You want someone washing your nasty hair…So do I…”

“Oh, shit….”

“Umm…Kim, I don’t think you should do that…”

“Well damn…”

“See…I told you she’s a savage.”

“Kiss my ass, Cuntweller.”

I scoffed.

“Not even if you paid me, honey.”

“Seriously, though, why are you here Cuntweller?”

“I was invited here, because Sam actually _likes_ me.”

All chatter stopped at that.

“Really? Are you sure he doesn’t pity your slutty ass?”

“I know it’s not from guilt…He sure as Hell doesn’t let me linger around here like some pitiful ass puppy.”

I looked at Leah. Her face flashed a slight heartbroken look, then it morphed into her signature raging bitch face.

“Why don’t you go back to your shitty house and your dopey mom?”

I glowered, “Why don’t you go and fuckin’ move on from Sam?”

“Why don’t you make your mom get off her ass and actually love you, instead of letting your slutty ass fuck every guy in town?”

_Clearwater, keep my mother outta this. You don’t know nothing bitch._

My fists tightened. “Well, at least I’m getting some, instead of whining about how pitiful life is after one little breakup. Grow up, Clearwater. Stop being a bitch. Here’s a piece of advice, no one likes a miserable, grumpy, and sad to look at shrew. I may have a reputation, but at least I know there are some people who actually _like_ me…instead of pretending to tolerate me.’

‘C’mon Bells, let’s get you cleaned up.”

I ushered her into the bathroom. I turned the left knob, and tested the water.

_Yikes! It’s fuckin’ freezing._

I left the water running, so it would warm up. The sound of the running faucet soothed me away from the bitchy comments Leah said to me. She had no right to jump after my mom like that, if she wanted to hurt me. Then she should have just continued verbally attacking me.

I hated it when people came for my family, they could insult me as much as they wanted. But they should leave my family alone. Leah knew how to cross the line, and attack without mercy or decency.

“What did Leah mean about your mom getting off her…butt?”

I laughed, “You can say ass if you want. I ain’t gonna judge.”

She smiled softly. Then she grew instant-serious on me.

“Is your mom okay, Kim?”

_Why would she care? She barely even knows me…_

_What is up with today? People caring about me…It’s unsettling. And creepy. I’m used to the lovely cold shoulder from everyone, minus Sammy._

_Though, it doesn’t mean that I’m completely indifferent to this newfound concern from this girl. I actually think its real sweet. Most people just ignore me and hope that I drift away quietly._

“Kim?”

“Yeah… She’s just…upset over my dad leaving us years ago.” No way in hell I was gonna let her in…yet.

“I’m sorry…Do you know where he is?”

“Yeah, I do. But it doesn’t matter you have to move on with your life. Like you did with that Cullen dude.”

“But I don’t know how. Ed-Edward was my first love…And he didn’t even seem to care before he walked away.

‘Maybe I’m just not meant to be loved, you know?”

Her eyes cast down to the floor. I heaved an annoyed sigh. A few seconds of silence stretched out, before I opened my mouth.

“Listen Bells, the guy who left you was a dumb mother fucker. Anyone who sucks the life outta ya, and then drops you like you’re nothing isn’t worth shit. Just cause he was your first love, doesn’t mean he was the love of your life. Or even the actual person you deserve to spend the rest of your life with. That guy was a parasite-”

A crash echoed from the living room.

“Those guys really need Jesus,” I muttered. I turned to her, and her eyes were brimming with unshed tears.

“Thanks Kim.”

I didn’t believe in true love or any other foolish whimsies of that nature. But if my words brought her some comfort and joy, then my pride would have to settle for a momentary kick to the curb.

I smirked at her. “No prob.”

Bella grinned at me.

“Now, let’s get started on your neglected hair.”

“My hair’s not that bad.”

“No, but it could get worse. Trust me. You need to take care of yourself first.”

She sighed. “Yeah. You’re right. I just didn’t see the point until…”

“Until…you met Mister Tall, Dark and Gruesome out there, right?”

She blushed. Then she shook her head. “Not really…And Paul’s actually really sweet when he’s by himself.”

“Funny how you immediately thought of Paul, when I literally could have meant anyone. I mean Samster’s pretty broody and dark. And Black is a freak of nature. I think that guy is actually 8’ feet.”

She rolled her eyes. “Sam has Emily. And Jake…well…he’s like a brother to me.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean Samster ain’t relationship goals. Have you ever met a better gentleman? If Emi wasn’t with him, then I would be on him so fast.”

She smiled. “What about Jake?”

I snorted. “What about that Snot-nosed punk?”

Bella sighed. “What did he do?”

“He was born.”

I heard booming claps of laughter from the living room. I looked up at the ceiling, and muttered a prayer for these mutts.

She giggled. “So I’m guessing you don’t like him very much.”

I sighed and rolled my eyes. “Black has zero listening skills. He always whines like a big baby, and he’s extremely annoying. He has two personalities one who doesn’t have any clue about what personal boundaries are. The other who acts like a shifty little asshole who thinks he’s doing you a favor, but he really ain’t even close. Because he was never asked to in the first place.”

More guffaws of laughter exploded down the hallway. I rolled my eyes. Those mutts had zero chill in them.

She snorted. “Yeah, you got that right...”

“Yeah. Black is a clueless dumbass. Also, remember never give that lowlife any money. No matter how much he pouts.”

She laughed lightly. “Alright. I’ll remember.”

“C’mon girl, your hair ain’t gonna wash itself.”

I scrubbed every part of her scalp and her split ends. Before I could control myself, I grabbed my conditioner, scissors, blow dryer, and straightener. We ended up talking and griping about everything from school to movies.

“I mean seriously…Who does Jared Leto think he is? Joker is nuts, but he never acted like that in the comics or animated series.” I said while blowing and straightening her hair.

Bells giggled. “I know. He played him like some kind of wannabe gangster who was super creepy and trying too hard to connect with teenagers.”

I spread out my arms. “I know right! Ugh…Personally I think he should rethink his life right now.”

“Yeah…Will Smith, Margot Robbie, and Viola Davis made that movie.”

“They really did…Any who, doll…Here ya go.” I twirled her around to face the mirror.

She gasped. “Oh wow. I look…”

“Less terrible?”

She rolled her eyes. “I wasn’t that bad.”

“You were close though.” It had been gross. I was all in for letting others girl do what they want to do, but what Little Swan had done was just straight up neglect. Nobody should leave their hair in that disgusting state like ever…

She looked into my eyes and smiled gratefully. “Thanks Kim.”

I shrugged and smirked. “I do what I can.”

“So…”

“So?” I repeated.

She bit her lip. “Actually, I wanted to know if you wanted to hang out with me, Paul, and some of the other guys tomorrow. We’re going to the cliffs to jump.”

I was stunned. People rarely wanted me around them longer than necessary, despite what I said to Leah. Truthfully, they enjoyed my company for certain events (like big blow-out parties), but never one-on-one situations. Sam and his family enjoyed my company, but other people not so much…When was the last time I had an actual girl to share opinions and recall stories to and have girly time with someone besides myself? I never connected with anyone at school, and I didn’t do any clubs or sports; unless you counted choir rehearsals.

“You know…I think I can make it. I just have to ask my Grandpa.” I collected all of my stuff and gently placed them in my bag.

Her eyes widened and flickered with mischievous delight.

_Is this little Bird planning something?_

“Great! I’ll pick you up tomorrow.”

A part of me wanted to protest, but she looked so alive and energetic. I just couldn’t find the will to tell her not to come to my house.

Instead I smiled softly and said, “Can’t wait. Now let’s show your big dummy how great you look.”

She blushed. “Shut up, Kim.”

I chuckled and pulled my purse over my arm. “C’mon Lover Girl.”

Strutting down the hallway, I walked into the living room. “Ladies…Well lady, gentlemen, and angry shrew, I present to you the newly improved Bells.”

A couple of guys wolf-whistled. Paul looked slack-jawed. Leah even looked pleased at her change in appearance.

She blushed while rolling her eyes. “Seriously Kim? It wasn’t that bad.”

Leah appraised Bells. “What do you know? Connweller does have some skills.”

I smirked. “Of course. Had to find something to do, once I found out that the Vampire Slayer Academy didn’t have an opening for me.”

One of the guys beside Black coughed loudly. Another muttered something under his breath. These guys were honestly the weirdest people I had ever met.

“Nice job, Kim.” Complimented the last guy I wanted to hear anything from.

My lips flattened and I crossed my arms. I turned to glare at his lying mug.

“What did I say about talking to me, Thail?”

“Sorry.”

“Whatever.”

An awkward silence would have choked us out, except Bells intervened. “Guys, which cliff are we jumping tomorrow?”

“Any really. We can do any one. Look at these muscles.”

“Really Quil?”

“C’mon you know we can do anything since…” He trailed off.  The boys turned and looked pointedly at me. I had no clue what they thought I was gonna do. Or what they thought I was going to act like…

I arched an eyebrow. “Since you grew a pair, Ateara?” They released an anxious breath.

_What the Hell? These guys are complete freaks…Honestly…why does Samster let them stay here…Like, why?_

“Yeah. I did grow a pair. A pair of these sick pythons.”

All of them groaned, except for Bells who gave him a placate smile _. Like a mother gives to an annoying kid who just won’t shut up._

I laughed. They raised their eyebrows at me.  “That was pretty good.”

Paul looked at me in disgust. “How could you find that funny, Kim?”

I shrugged. “I just like to laugh. Got a problem with that, Lahote?”

“Oh Kimmy Cub…”

“Don’t call me that!”

“Ah…Kimmy Cub…what’s wrong? You embarrassed?”

I narrowed my eyes. “You want your ugly mug to get uglier…Just keep it coming.”

He only shrugged, and smirked. “Like you could do any real damage Kimmy Cub.”             _Does this fool not get it?_

“Oh, don’t test me, _mutt_.”

Paul started vibrating. _What the hell?_ Was this guy a fuckin’ human vibrator?

Bells reached over and rubbed his shoulders, and he pulled her into his lap. He laid his head into her stomach. Weirdo. The biggest fuckin’ weirdo.

“So Kim, tomorrow we’ll pick you around noon.”

“Sure. Samster. Let’s go!”

 “Okay Kim.”

“Bye Kimmy Cub."

“Lahote, I will smack you.”

“See ya Kim”

“Bye Connweller."

“Bye guys.”

***

Sam drove me home. I wobbled out the car, and headed to my front door. I waved off Sam, who honked at me. I shook my head; Samster was so silly. He had always been a brother to me, even though he already had two sisters. Sam was squashed in the middle. He had two sisters named Pam and Sara.

His older sister, Pam, was a straight-faced and no nonsense woman who opened a small antique shop in Seattle. She loved collecting and selling junk. Pam was a freaking expert when it came to convincing people how much they really needed a particular item. She juggled her own business, while raising her mischievous son. Her son was a wild 12 year old with bright blue eyes, and blueish-black hair. His name was Ethan. She had been a teen mom, but she pushed through high school, and then earned both her undergrad and master’s degrees. Pam was only 27. Her son was a handful to raise, but she managed with her tenacious will and her strong faith. She was one of the few real Christians I had met who actually practiced what they preached.

Obviously Sara came right after Sam. She was the baby who was spoiled by everyone. Sara didn’t let the special attention give her a big ego. She was the only one, who never met their wonderful father. The asshole walked out the minute Sam’s mom announced she was pregnant with Sara. Sara was self-involved at times, but she was a real sweetheart. Sara was only 15 years old. She primarily lived with their mom, but sometimes she did spend her weekends with Sam or Pam. She wanted to be a brain surgeon. Sara had one goal: get a full ride to an Ivy League school. She sacrificed her social life, so she could be the student with the highest GPA.

One jumped to conclusions that Sam had a stick up his ass, but he was the exact opposite. He may have grown up with an absentee father and a mother who worked constantly to provide for his family. But Sam knew how to have fun. He was a bright light pouring through the bleak, uncaring night. Sam was there for me during my darkest days. I appreciated the things he had done for me and my family.

I cracked open my front door. I saw my Grandma Ruth playing puzzles with my Aunt Diane. My auntie smiled and waved at me, and I returned the gesture. She was wearing a long sleeve running shirt and a gray pair of sweatpants along with white Nike sneakers. My Grandma had a pink nightgown with flowers on, and matching pink slippers. Her brown skin was soft and free of tired creases. Her smoky quartz eyes rimmed with childlike awe. Her hands were wrinkled, and held a hospital band with her diagnosis. Her eyes were milky and stuck in times long past.

She turned to me, and asked, “Maria, how was work?”

Maria was her sister. She died over a decade ago. Apparently, I had gained several personality traits from her, and looked exactly like her. Maria had been a stubborn woman who didn’t give damn about what other people thought. She was a workaholic who worked long hours at the hospital. Maria was very beautiful, but she also had a reputation growing up in La Push. People tended not to like her because she and her “roommate” wore clothes that weren’t appropriate for women to wear in the 1950s. Maria was a free spirit, and she blazed through decades of adversity with her phoenix tenacity and razor sharp tongue. Maria and her roommate Alicia were forbidden, but they cultivated their own Eden in this house.

I smiled at her. Not wanting to break the spell. “Well Dr. Waterson is trying to run us like machines, but I told him a thing or two about himself.”

Dr. Waterson had been the head doctor and her boss at the Forks hospital for years. Maria had been the only person who he respected in this place; and although he never said anything to her about his personal feelings towards her, he loved and respected her like she was his own daughter; he inspired Maria to shoot for the stars. His respect for her work ethic was evident, especially when he pushed for her to succeed farther than all the other staff members thought she should have been allowed. Especially how he helped her out of sticky situations with the more disagreeable residents in the Forks/ La Push area. Once he died, Maria Thorn had earned herself a legacy of becoming the first head nurse at the crummy hospital, and her hard work ethic and so later her fellow staff members extended her begrudging respect for she had done for them. Maria Thorn had been left with a plaque on the wall behind the hospital’s front desk. _I guess sometimes the people in this town could treat people with some decent respect…eventually after learning that said person was a human being too._  

“Well Ruth, I’m heading to bed. I’m pooped.”

Her eyes crinkled, and she winked. “Make sure Alicia gets some shut eye too!”

My smile tugged apart my cheeks. I ducked my head. “Yeah, don’t worry I tuck her in.”

She giggled happily. “Night Sissy!”

“Night Little Star.”

I walked away from them and headed to my bedroom. Stopping at the door to my mom’s room. I glanced in and saw my Grandpa, her doctor, and my mom. My Grandpa was a wall of a man who towered over most. His face revealed nothing. His eyes were pitch black. His white hair was buzzed off, and his hands were raw from his work. He was in his dirty Levis, lumber boots, and his red long-sleeved shirt. The squatty balding black man held his stethoscope in his left hand and sighed deeply.

“I’m sorry Mr. Connweller, but your daughter-in-law needs to return to Seattle General.”

“No. Not happening.”

The aged doctor looked into my Grandpa’s eyes, with a voice coated in empathy, he said, “Sir, I know this is hard for you, but…”

My Grandpa’s fists tightened. “You don’t know the half of it… I just want her to be cured, but that ain’t gonna happen. Is it?”

The doctor heaved a tense sigh. “No. You know she’s only got days…A week if she’s lucky.”

My Grandpa crossed his arms and his shoulders sagged. “Then take her.”

My hands shook. I looked at my mom. Her eyes were glassy, and not focused on the present. Her bones were pushing through her skin. Her eyes cradled bright black bags under her eyes, and her skin was a canvas of purple, blue and Casper pale. Her shaved head held a long swirly cut that started at the top of her head and ended on the back of her neck. 

“Rick, darling, you’re here,” she said smiling. Her eyes were caught in the darkened corner, where only a rocking chair stood.

I covered my gasp with my hand, and jolted to my room. I dropped my purse somewhere outside my door.

The tears streamed down my face, after I shut the door. My nose squirted out slimy goo. I slid down the flimsy paneling, and I collapsed on my carpet.  I raised my hand to my face. I furiously swiped at the runny crap. I crawled to my nightstand, and grabbed my treasured possession. It was a warm oak brown picture frame that held a proud marine smiling and laughing in his uniform. He was the other half who gave me life, and he protected too many. He defended this country with everything he was blessed with. I gently pressed his picture to my chest. A true hero who sacrificed everything, so his everything didn’t have to be sacrificed. His name was Richard “Rick” J. Connweller.

_Dad…Mom is soon going to be joining you where you are. And then it’s just gonna be me, Grandpa, Granny, and auntie left behind._

I cried myself to sleep. I woke up to two men talking to my Grandpa. I turned my door knob, and peeked out. My Grandpa looked like a tall worn leather strip with the battered bags under his eyes.

“Sir, we’re gonna take her. Do you want to come with us?”

“No.”

“Uh…Okay” The chattier guy rolled out my mom in a wheelchair.

The doctor turned to my Grandpa, and placed a hand on his arm. “It’s not going to be easy, but she will feel no pain during her last moments.”

“She’s gonna die. Who cares what she will or won’t feel?”

“I know that this is hard for you, but please bring Kim, so the two of you can come by and visit her. Kim needs to see her mother, before she dies. ”

“Why? So I mess up my granddaughter’s life?”

His eyes glimmered with wisdom. “No, so she can learn to live through the pain of losing someone.”

My Grandpa snorted in disbelief. “Her dad’s been dead for years. Think she’s managed enough.”

He was so casual and clipped when he talked about his only son who had died years ago. I understood that he never liked showing his emotions, but I would have liked to see him talk about how he loved my father just once. And maybe even tell me some stories about him.

The doctor sighed. “I’ll see the both of you soon, Mister Connweller.”

My Grandpa turned to my room. “Kim. I can see you.”

I sighed. I walked out toward him. I wrapped my arms around my body. “So they couldn’t do anything about the tumor?”

“Nope.” He popped his “p”.

He crossed his legs, and leaned up against the wall.

“Sam took you home?”

“Yeah.”

My grandpa was a creature of habit, and soon he would tell me to go straight to bed. He definitely would not want to talk about the deep serious cloud that was looming over both of our heads. He would prefer to keep all his thoughts and feelings buried underneath and never have them show the light of day…I didn’t understand why it was so hard for him to do so. His wife had been suffering with Alzheimer’s for years. His son had died in the Iraqi War, and he had lost a lot of his wartime buddies over the years, and most of them in Vietnam. He didn’t ever want to open up that Pandora Box of swirling emotions. He would prefer to remain ignorant, and never admit that all of this loss of life to both Death and disease.

I however wanted to face and admit that those deaths and disease did happen to those we cared about, and I needed to admit that those painful feelings were there. Because by denying that those things never happened, it would erase the memory and the value of that person’s life held when they were alive.  It was the only way I move on without losing my mind.

He huffed. “Is there anything you want to talk about?”

I wrenched my head up to look at him. He looked worn, probably the most I’ve seen him look. This was the first time he had ever shown any facial and physical signs of exhaustion.

I blinked. “Are you sick?”

He looked at me confused. “No…”

I felt my throat constrict. “It’s just your nature…I know you don’t like talking about your emotions…So I’m just really confused Grandpa…And scared… I don’t want to sound weak, but I don’t know how I can live without her…” I confessed. Tears ran down my make-up stained cheeks.

My Grandpa grabbed me. And wrapped his arms around me. “Just cry it out Kim, maybe we should see your mom at the hospital, before…”

I hiccupped. “Yeah. That would be great.”

“Grandpa, I know this is random, but some people invited me to go cliff diving.”

He was examining my face. I hated it when he scanned me like some kind of emotive robot. Specifically like the one from Big Hero 6.

“Do you trust them?” Odd question. But then again, my grandpa was always an interesting man. He shut the door with a gentle click. He definitely didn’t want to wake Grandma or Aunt Diane.

“Yes, I do.”

He chuckled. “Then go.”

He hugged me and patted my head. “Sleep now, Kim.” Then he walked back to his room.

I shook my head. I walked back into my room, and collapsed onto my bed. As I fell into Dreamland, I decided I was going to wear the black bikini I had bought from Target. After all, I had to show those wolfish ruffians a thing or two about style.

***

I woke up to a booming knock that echoed through my front door, and somehow reverberated throughout the house. I huffed indignantly as I swung my unkempt hair over my shoulder. My eyes narrowed with fierce hate for whoever disturbed my beauty sleep.

“I swear to Jesus, if it’s Lahote or Ateara…They are fuckin’ dead!”

I sprung out of my bed with demonic rage that would liquefy those ignorant beasts. I stomped through my doorway and out to the front door.

I swung open the door.

“What?” I said.

Thail looked at me with widened eyes. He was stunned and swallowing hard. Why was he looking at me like some kind of witless puppy?

Lahote snorted and muttered something under his breath. Something along the lines like, “ _Kim_ should have been ready to go”, since apparently I would automatically know when they were coming. Because I was apparently the greatest mind reader that I had ever known. They were dimwits.

_Why had I agreed to this, again?_

I was not even in the mood to try and smack him with a witty one-liner yet. But later during that day I had planned for one that would roast him alive.

The other two smaller pack boys, who I thought might be underclassmen, stood around looking surprised at my appearance. Their names escaped me. I would have to ask for them another time.

The shy guy who I had seen last night just waved politely at me.

“What’s up?” I asked him.

He just shrugged.

“I feel ya.”

He cracked a tiny smile in my direction.

_Cool guy…Wonder why he hangs with these douche bags?_

What was wrong with these guys? Had they ever seen a girl without her make-up? It was early in the morning like 7: 30 something. What possessed these boys to wake up at the crack of dawn? A lady needs her beauty rest, after all. It was one of the oldest rules in the world. Everybody should know that.

  Miss Bella Swan (who was pinning for the title of future Mrs. Bella Lahote-Swan) who looked mildly impressed by my appearance…For some odd reason she seemed to carry a smirk on her pale mug. What was this girl up to?

Black was focusing on Bella, and ignored me altogether. Or at least what I looked like. Thank God, though, that boy was as annoying as SpongeBob.

Clearwater raised her eyebrows at me. She looked indifferent while standing on my front porch early in the morning. I expected no warm greeting from her, as she expected nothing warm from me either.

Seth Clearwater was there! Probably the one of the two living Clearwater’s I cared for at the moment. Harry and Seth were so easy-going that it was _**hard**_ not to love and adore them. Both Sue and her daughter were too judgmental for me to handle. They used to stare at my mom and me with such piercing gazes, so we would just give them the same looks they would give us. They had the gall to act all insulted. Honey, they did not deserve a lick of pity…Nor did any of the other so called wonderful citizens on the reservation.

They judged me and my entire family. They gawked and scrutinized every movement and whisper we uttered. Piercing blades entered the backs of our skulls with little empathy to our situation.

_Like they knew something. Ha. They didn’t know a goddamn thing. Acting like we were the menaces…Yeah, right. Sue and her daughter can go fuck themselves._

_It makes me laugh when people jump to ridiculous assumptions._

Those two spread malicious rumors about my mother. Saying she was a heroin addict who’d lost it, after her husband left...was so hilarious I had to refrain from embarrassing them. They didn’t know that my dad had turned a full 180, and departed to arrive overseas multiple times to battle across a burning terrain. My family didn’t really associate with those blabbering idiots. So they were never on our radar to inform about every situation that arose in our lives.

Like how my mom’s cancer ruined her mind, her heart and her glorious gorgeous raven hair. Or her suffering consumed every inch of her brown skin and paled that lovely dark complexion.

Or how my grandpa busted his ass to pay for a decent sized funeral for my daddy who deserved more than what he got.

People glanced at us and assumed the worst. They noted how indecent we looked based on our decaying house. The high and mighty glanced down on us and criticized our dirty appearances.

Cleanliness mattered more than kindness, apparently.

Those people had no clue. They sneered and taunted at superficial things that had never crossed my Grandpa’s mind. He had to worry to keep our family financially secure. They commented on my reputation and my grandma’s disheveled appearance. They were appalled at the audacity of my mom for never reappearing in public and began openly speculating possible rumors to rid themselves of pesky boredom. They circulated more insidious words that ruined my family’s already tarnished reputation.

Especially when I had to look for my grandma, after she began wandering around last year. She was in the intermediary stages of Alzheimer’s at the moment. I was going to hate the moment she would be sent away to a home…My grandpa would finally sever his stony face that day. That would be a sad day.

We were not popular or liked, before our lives spiraled into chaos. And that was never going to change.

Those so called decent people were mere pests that would be trampled on by the real world.

No more happy days for my little family.

The little Clearwater smiled at me. He was by far the sweetest young man in this town. He always talked to me, no matter what his mom told him about me. And how terrible I was. That I was the worst child in this entire town. Really? She couldn’t think of anyone else? She often compared me to Satan. That I corrupted all the good kids here. Right…Like none of them ever decided to throw parties for themselves. Like they weren’t capable of making their own decisions. _Oh. Please. I couldn’t corrupt anyone, after all I wasn’t a greedy corporation trying to suck the life outta decent_ _people._

_Give me a break!_

“Hey Kim!”

I smiled softly at him. “Hi, Seth.”

Lahote had to open his trap to ruin the sweet moment. “Why do you only call Sam and Seth by their first names, but not the rest of us?”

“Because, I don’t know the rest of you that well.” _And hopefully that won’t change in the near future. I would rather stick my hand down a garbage disposal._

Ateara whistled and grinned.

“Who would ‘ad thought that girls like Kim are even more gorgeous without makeup.”

_Oh. My. God. Seriously, Ateara…You are going to be skinned alive if you don’t shut your trap, I swear I’m gonna…_

“Honestly Connweller, you knew we were coming…”

_This bitch…_

“Dear Clearwater, it is Saturday and normal people usually sleep in…Not to wake up at inhuman hours of the morning by a mindless Neanderthal.” I sneered at Ateara.

The big muscle-bound dummy just shrugged and went on to say, “Well my grandpa always says the best way to start the day early.”

I muttered under my breath, “Apparently that helped you lose some functioning brain cells, Ateara.”

 Some of the muscle meat heads’ snorts and light chuckles echoed from the assembled group facing me and my house. I heard wood creaking behind me. I turned around. What was she doing out of bed? It didn’t matter, because now I had to get into character. It was unfortunate that these wild hooligans were going to witness my grandma’s inner Hell; I didn’t want them treating her like she was a leper. My grandma meant the world to me, after all she was the only who comforted me during my father’s death while struggling through her own grief. My mother was confined to her bed unable to function after my father died. My grandpa never talked about it. He wasn’t someone who opened his inner thoughts and feelings to people. Not even those close to him.

“Good morning Maria.”

I heard Quil mutter, “I thought her name was Kim.”

“Shut up, Quil.” Huffed Jared.

“Jared, my man, there’s no need to hostile just because she’s your imp-”

Paul smacked Ateara upside the head. “Ow. Paul, why?” Whined the giant baby.

“Because you deserve it.” He snarled.

_Did Paul have any chill mode? Like ever._

“Good morning Little Star.”

“It’s too early for the stars to out, sis.” Her eyes twinkled with a hint of mischief.

“Oh, little one, you know the stars are always there shining like you do.”

She giggled. “What are we going to have for breakfast today?”

“Your favorite, toast and jelly!”

“C’mon, Maria, it’s 1953! Make something else.”

Gasps surrounded the peanut gallery. _Those idiots should just go!_ My grandma turned to look at the door.

“Who are they Maria?”

 _Oh. Damn. What do I say?_ “Just some construction workers, Ruth. Go sit down at the table while I tell them what to do around here.”

“Okay…”

I walked to the doorway and gestured for them to hit the bricks. They had to leave, especially since my grandma’s brain wouldn’t have processed them properly on a good day.

“Kim, what’s go-”

“Thail, leave please. I have to deal with my grandma first. Go, ahead. I’ll meet you guys at the cliffs.”

“Well, we’ll meet you there.” Black.

“But Kim, you look like you need help.” Ateara.

“Kim, we can help.” Seth.

“Guys, Connweller said go. So let’s go.” Bitchy Clearwater.

“Kim…” Sweet Swan.

“Bella, you heard her.”  Lahote scooped her up and trudged off into the distance. _What is wrong with that ass hat? Not a single decent and understanding bone in his body…Although he seems sweet on Swan…Ooooooo…._

_Bella and Paulie sitting in a tree…_

Clearwater dragged her little brother along, as well as Ateara. She plunged her nails into Ateara’s right cheek.

“OW! Why does everyone love hurting me?”

“Because you _really_ deserve it.” She amended Lahote’s statement from earlier.

“Leah…You’re so mean,” whined the giant goofball.

“Yeah…well deal with it.”

“Ow!!!! Why?!”

“Because Jesus hates you.”

Black and the two younger nameless boys followed behind them. The shy guy looked torn like he wanted to stay, but was I gave him a look to go on without me. He conceded and leapt off my crusty porch to trail behind the bumbling band of baboons.

Thail though looked torn between following his buds and helping me. But really, what would he have been able to do?

“Go, Thail. I can handle this.”

His eyes widened, and examined me close. Too close for comfort, and I really wished he stopped sooner.

“But-”

“No buts. Just go.” I then slammed the door in his face. I cringed. I would have smacked myself, but I had to get over it. My grandma needed me.

“Maria!”

I turned and saw liquid pouring down my grandma’s legs. Her bottom of her dress was soaked in a circular stain. I ran to get a paper towel and mopped up the mess.

“Ruth! It’ll be fine!”

“Where am I? This place doesn’t look- Oh! We moved in yesterday…”She rambled on. I closed my eyes. Some days were better than others. But today was not that day. I knew that my independent playful and witty Grandma Ruth would have hated how much this disease stole from her.

I ushered her into her room. I looked around the light blue colored room and went to the off-white dresser. After pulling the knob, I dug around in the top drawer and whipped out another pink nightgown and an adult diaper. I slowly stripped my grandmother of her soaked plain white panties, and her destroyed nightgown.

I cleaned the wetness from her legs and feet. Her bladder had been worsening over the last few weeks. It sucked that she was growing worse, not better. A grown woman was being dressed by her granddaughter who she no longer recognized as such. Ruth only saw me as her deceased sister. It was heartbreaking to lose someone; and then slowly watch them fade from you as you watched on knowing there was nothing that could stop their inner struggle was pure Hell.

I slid the dress over her head, after I put on her adult diaper. I then took away from her bedroom, and escorted her to the tiny round dining room table. I went to make her some breakfast and a glass of water. I turned on the stove and cranked up the dial. I cracked some eggs on a frying pan, and I slid them on top of two separate pieces of toast. The eggs smothered and sizzled onto the bread pieces. Only about ten minutes later, I served my grandma her breakfast and cut her food for her. She happily dug into her food.

Moments later, Aunt Diane and Grandpa woke up and strode into the small dining room. Diane sat down next to my Grandma, and shooed me away. My grandpa had on a pair of worn Levis, a pair of black boots, a long-sleeved shirt. He looked expressionless, but his hands shook at the sight of my grandma. He must have felt as lost and torn as I did.

My Aunt Diane was wearing a long Wonder Woman onesie. She came out and encouraged my grandma into a new puzzle featuring unicorns and dragons. My grandma immediately became fixated on the scattered and mismatched pieces. Aunt Diane began pointing and dragging her hand over the enormous pile. My grandpa went to the coffee maker and poured himself a cup of straight black coffee. He despised sweetening anything in his drinks. My grandpa did send me a look of gratitude for handling grandma so well.

My self-proclaimed sat down next to my grandma. I went to one of the cabinets, and pulled out a brightly green and yellow rose designed coffee mug. I poured coffee into it and added a mountain of sugar in it. Diane refused to drink anything, unless it was crammed with an explosion of savory sweetness. I handed the flowery mug over to my aunt Diane. She breathed in the sugary goodness, while she delicately blew into the misty cup. After two small careful sips, she raised her eyes up at me.

“Thank you, sweetheart.”

“No, problem.”

Her light brown eyes crinkled at me with speedy alertness.

“Don’t you have friends to meet up with?”

Oh! I did! But wait! How did she know? It didn’t matter at that moment, because I had to get to the cliffs. I sprinted to my room and slipped on my gorgeous black bikini. I quickly grabbed a random t-shirt and pulled it over my head and I grabbed my giant purse which held my janitor uniform and the rest of my junk.

I waved at the three adults who were sitting around the tiny dining room table. They each greeted me in a friendly fashion.

“Bye.”

“Bye sweetheart.”

“Bye Maria!”

I cringed right before I slipped out the front door. She was back to thinking I was Maria again. I’d rather have her think that about me, instead of not remembering anything at all. Still, it stung though. It hurt me more than I could bear at times.

I was heading toward the road to the cliffs. It was a gravel road that led to the main concrete road that curved over the cliffs. The skies were clear, and the sky was a bright blue. The overwhelming lush forest enclosed around our tiny piece of civilization. A warm sound entered my ears, and a rush of security hovered over my heart.

“Kim?”

I whipped my head to the left. Jared Thail was leaning against a tree in my front yard. His kindness was cindering my steel plated armor away with his warm and concerned gaze. 

“Thail? What are you still doing here? I thought you left with the rest of the-”

He kicked his heel off from the worn russet tree, and slowly strode over to me.

“Thail?”

“Kim…I didn’t realize you were having issues at home…”

“Issues? No…My grandma is a little confused from time to time.”

He sighed. “Kim.”

I looked up and I was mesmerized by his earthy brown and orange flecked eyes. His eyes remained unblinking, and he walked toward me. Slowly closed in on me like a stealthy predator. Into my personal space. He then attempted to try and do something intimate with his touch. For him, it would be friendly. For me, it would be unbearably sweet, and I could not stand that. I would break down from any gentle contact with this guy. I couldn’t cry in front of this guy, I don’t think my heart could handle Mr. Perfect Jared Thail helping me the girl with 99 problems. It wouldn’t be fair for me, especially since he would end up leaving this stupid place and venture off to somewhere else amazing. So I pushed him away from me.

“Whoa. Slow your roll there horsey.”

He sighed again.

How many times did this boy do that around me?

“C’mon.” He commanded.

“Don’t tell me what to do.”

He gestured to follow him. I begrudgingly followed him down the graveled road. I winced as my foot sliced up against a different shard of the road. I bit my lip from letting a single gasp of pain escaping my mouth. He glanced down at my feet. Jared Thail paused in his aggressive conductor routine. He examined me slowly like some sort of predator. His gaze sharpened like a lion would an antelope; like Mufasa in the _Lion King_.

“You don’t have any shoes?” he asked. 

“I don’t need them if I’m just going to dive-” I started with a small frown gracing my lips. 

Why did he care? 

Was he the grand shoe wizard of the Forks/ La Push area?

“You don’t have any shoes,” he noted.

_Who is this guy?_

“Yeah. Is that the only thing you can say?” I demanded.

_What is this guy’s deal, anyway? Should I be worried that he’s obsessed with my feet? Or should I just ignore him._

“Thail, let’s just get there. Okay,” I stated in a irritated tone.

“Fine,” he said.

_It better be fine. Acting like my protector…I can take care of myself._

“Anyway, we should head this way-” I began.

             Without a warning, he swooped in and picked me up off the ground. I pushed down the shock and irritation boiling under my skin. He could have warned me! Like a normal person. I was burning up in embarrassment. He only smiled softy at me. And since I was eye level with the guy, it became abundantly clear that he was truly breathtaking. I gulped, and leaned away from him.

             “What are you doing?” I asked. 

             I rotated my neck back to Jared. His eyes swirled with a new animalistic and dangerous attribute that radiated out from him. His height and muscles intimidated and thrilled me. Me who encountered many types of extraordinarily attractive men and enjoyed their company. His beauty and warmth outshined them all, and fizzled out any credibility on anyone else’s beauty.  How had this annoyingly sweet and selfless boy I had grown up with transformed into this beauty and beast of a man?

            I covered my mouth with my hand. Thankfully, my hand stopped any and all embarrassment that threatened to spill over my chin. Last thing I needed was Jared Thail the man with an exceedingly long list of admirers getting any idea about me falling for him.

            “I don’t think you want to be around my morning breath,” I said. 

            “I think your breath smells great. Just like the rest of you,” he declared softly.

_Oh dear God, what is this man doing to me? Nobody says things like that…_

            My heart rattled against my chest. I felt like I was going to melt into a giant Kimberly Connweller Puddle. This gorgeous man who towered over me with his newly-evolved graceful wild beauty and fearsome strength loomed over me; and yet he cradled me like a fragile Christmas ornament. A flicker of worry spread throughout my chest, as I pondered how those large hands pressed against my skin created any sweet reaction from me. Ironically, I wanted Jared Thail’s hands pressed and sliding past every inch of my skin, but my brain wanted to throttle my thoughtless heart. Knowing full well, I would never touch him in that way, or I shouldn’t, especially since I’ve been nothing but cold to him as long as I could recall.

            I felt a cordlike impulse to just steal a peek at him, so I arched my neck backwards to see him better. His eyes flashed a strange mix of emotions. His breathing evolved into giant unhinged huffs, which drove me to the brink of wanting to knock out his teeth; but his toothy smile prevented this boy from needing any expensive dental care as I felt a spiral of butterflies attack my internal organs. 

            This _man_ startled me with his oddness. Jared Thail most likely pitied me or at least tolerated me. He still pissed me off for what he did to me in the hallway. _Seriously_ , _who does that?_ And yet my skin didn’t burn with outrage as it did on Friday. Recently, I felt a surge of fuzzy feelings bubbling through my eroding armor toward this irritating guy. It scared the hell outta of me.

            Feelings didn’t form overnight. They were pests that were smashed with logic and reality. But my normal methods were not working.

            At this rate, I needed to be locked away in a secure straight jacket. So I wouldn’t ruin my life or Jared.

            The needy thuds would strangle me in the future.

            I sighed.

            “Are you okay, Kim?”

            “Hmm…Oh, yes. I’m fine.”

            _No not even close…I’m having a serious dilemma over here._ _One minute I hate this guy, and the next I want to admire him. Why am I doing that? Am I measuring him up for sex? Him the golden boy Jared Thail…Ha! …Yes… He is attractive, even the blind would swoon over his annoyingly perfect ass. But it feels like something more…Could it be that I like Jared Thail?_

_Nope. Not even exploring that thought. Don’t you dare think about him, brain! His hands are so soft though against my thigh…and his voice is nice…So is his laugh. Stop, Kim! Remember he will have opportunities you will never have!_

          I couldn’t risk getting close. It would ruin me. I needed to protect what little dignity I had. 

           I struggled out of his grip. His hands only tightened around my thighs. I whimpered lowly and slowly.

           “Thail, please. Put me down!”

           He held me for a moment longer and then finally put me down on the concrete road. I trudged ahead of him, while I crossed my arms against my chest. I stubbornly held my head high. A string of snot ran down my lips. _Oh. God. No. Not the ugly crying. Definitely could not have Jared seeing me like this. Wait! Why do I care about him so much? Even, if I do end up liking him or whatever... It doesn’t mean I have to completely open up to him!_

_He is nothing but a jerk who pretends he is a nice guy. He’s worse than Lahote. At least that asshole is honest about who he is. I’m so sick of liars and fakes. I have enough problems in my life. I don’t need to worry about Mister Perfect’s feelings._

             His footsteps stopped crunching along with mine in unison. A wave of rustling green exploded from the corner of eye. I whirled around and saw that Jared was gone! A bubble of panic scattered across my chest. My breath heaved. Where was he? Maybe he was hiding behind the dark and mysterious trees somewhere. Was this his way to get back at me for acting like an ass? He couldn't be that hurt from me telling him to let me back on the fuckin' ground...Could he?

             The woods were not trustworthy. They contained evil and nasty creatures in there. And lots of green curled vegetation that would choke out innocents in a heartbeat. Mother Nature was not to be messed with. 

             “Thail, this isn’t funny,” I hollered.

             The wild trees and swirling branches loomed over me. The wind blew through them, and the forest morphed into a mouth-like being that could swallow me whole in one gulp. It unleashed an angry growl. The tips of the branches narrowed into fingers, and lunged right at me. I fell backwards, and my heart vibrated against my chest.

             I breathed slowly. Just like my grandma, dad and mom had taught me.

**_The woods won’t hurt you, honey. They aren’t alive._ **

**_But mommy…my teacher said…_ **

**_Don’t listen to Agatha. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about._ **

**_Listen little one, just take a deep breath. And let it out._ **

**_In and out._ **

**_In and out._ **

             In and out.

             In and out. My lungs expanded. As I listened to my memorized calming mantra, and then another howl erupted from the woods. My body shook worse than the invasive plants surrounding me as the wind barreled into them.

            “Thail!” I screamed.

            I glanced around in a blurry circle. I couldn’t let Thail get killed by whatever was out there. I took the calmest (mostly shaky) breath I could, and then I leaped into the mouth-like creature. I sprinted the wilderness, and I took desperate short breaths as I raced through the green and terrible monster. It clawed and pierced me with its’ numerous green and oval-pointed fangs. The monster’s grassy tongue tried to pull me down into its’ belly. I only increased my speed and my intake of breath. I finally landed on a rock. My purse swung with momentum with the rest of me. It dug into the crook of my elbow. I dropped it on the surface of the rock, as gently as I could manage. Though, the rock was more like a medium-sized boulder. I paused and took another “calm” breath. I peered around the clearing that the rock stood near.

            Then I saw it. It was huge and terrifying. Like something out of my most twisted nightmares. A beast who growled and stalked like a true killer. Thankfully, I was behind the creature, and it hadn’t noticed me.

            The wolf was over 7 feet tall on its’ four legs. It had threatening fangs that were long and curved. It was panting and grazing its’ lengthy tail through the air like a samurai would with their blade. They could easily shred through me like I was a cheddar cheese block. The large wolf had deep brown fur and a dent across its’ back. Was it a scar? Was the creature injured? Was it deformed? Was it malnourished?

_Why do I care? That thing could swallow me whole and not think twice about it. Wild animals weren’t pets. They killed. Or they were killed by the killing machines like this beast. Even, if it was friendly, it would still snarl and try to bite me._

_Come on, Kimmy, let’s go. Do I really want forever having people murmur things like “she was never seen again”? Or the old classic “good riddance”? Or better yet…”they only found her shredded bikini”?_

_Jesus, I need help._

_The only comfort I can find in the bigger picture is that Lahote won’t see my sadistic fall into Death’s clutches._

_That bastard would enjoy my fateful descent._

_Then the demons would pull me down into Hell, according to all the locals. I would become the story that would force children to behave or at least attempt them into decent territory._

_I hate this town…_

        Another snarl escaped the curled black lips. The teeth were bright white. I tore my eyes away from those little daggers. It would pull out my stomach and intestines with a single nip. Then it'd fling off into the upper branches where little birds and flies would pick apart my severed organ skins. 

        I bit my lip to calm the persistent trembling plaguing my lower lip. 

        Although I had this overwhelming sense that this wolf was familiar. Like I had met him before. Why was I suddenly sure of its’ gender? No clue…My heart was telling me to stay and talk to it. That it would never harm me.

_Yeah…And my gut tells me the “guy” wolf would slice me to ribbons if I tried to approach this thing. Or maybe it wouldn’t kill me…_

        But I was not about to stick around and find out, so my heart could rejoice in sticking around to kill me for trusting a wild beast. I slowly paced backwards, and as I leaped from this boulder I would have been home free- An insidious branch sliced through the sole of my foot, and the branch splinted once my weight pressed against it. A loud crack resounded throughout the clearing.

        “Ow.” I whispered as I rubbed my injured area.

        The wolf growled, so I whipped my head in the creature’s direction. It closed in on me, and continued its’ growling. I pushed down my fear and my racing heart. I raised my chin and my shoulders.

        “Hey! Don’t you dare! I’ll be damned if I let some flea filled mutt kill me!” I shouted.

        The wolf stopped in its’ tracks. It just stood there while tracking me with its’ threatening gaze. I huffed.

        “I have enough problems, already. First, my mom. Then my grandma. And then Jared.”

        Once I uttered “Jared”, the gaze softened into a warmer glimmer. It unsettled me. Animals, especially wild ones, didn’t change their moods into the sweet and cuddly range. The animal cocked its’ furry head at me, and (for an unknown reason) it yelped at me.

         “Yeah, so don’t try me. I don’t have time for it. I’m standing here in the last place that I should be in,” I threatened weakly. 

         The wolf barked at me and sat on the monstrous green floor. Because I was scared and flat-out exhausted, I decided this wolf was going to be my earpiece. Probably wasn’t the sanest thing to do, especially since the huge ass beast could tear me apart like paper.

         “I’m beyond terrified of the woods. I always have been. Don’t know why…If I did, my therapist wouldn’t have had to try and cure me.”

         Another bark. It sounded worried. And impatient.

         “I’m kidding. My family’s too poor to pay for some shrink…Now I’m here facing the damn green and thick monster. All for some guy…”

         The wolf huffed angrily. The sound held an annoyed tone within that breath of air.

          “Hey. I like the guy. Don’t get me wrong…I just wish he didn’t try and care. I don’t like that mushy stuff. Trust me I’m not that type of gal. He’s a catch alright. Just not my cup of tea.”

         The wolf whined at me and jutted out its’ tongue at me.

         “Don’t stick your tongue at me. It’s rude. You’re almost as bad as Lahote. Maybe you and him are cousins. You two smell the same and sure as hell love to bark at people whenever you get the chance…”

            Wolf sneezed at the very idea.

            “Heh. Even wild animals don’t want to claim him. Only person who can stand him is probably ole Bells.”

            Wolf barked again at a happier decibel.

            “Mammal of few words, huh?” I asked. 

            Wolf barked in agreement.

            “I can respect that. You and my Grandpop would totally get along…”I sighed.     

            The humongous mammal cocked a furry ridge at me.

            “You know you ain’t a talkative pooch. Or rather one that barks or growls. Well you stopped after when I came and screamed your fuzzy mug off. In that way, you’re like my grandpa. My old man hates useless chatter. Calls it a huge waste of time.”

            The wolf stared at me solemnly.

            “Why so serious, Wolf-kins?”

            _Seriously though, why is this wolf so fuckin’ serious? Wolfie-boy here needs some happy pills. I mean he’s acting like a mopey teenager. God, it’s so weird._

            It snorted at me.

            Did it just snort? Like a human? Jesus…That beast was almost as creepy as that sad bear that was wished alive on Supernatural.

            I ran a hand through my hair. “Honestly, I’m stuck. I don’t understand why Jared Thail of all people would want to talk to me. I mean I know I’m hot. C’mon look at me.’

            The wolf barked in agreement while he wagged his tail happily at me.

            ‘I’m just not what he is…You know? I’m not good…I’m just “Cuntweller” who loves safe, consensual and open sex and wearing nice makeup. People think I’m the Antichrist around here. And they all worship the Thails, especially Jared. Who is basically the Golden Boy…Mister Perfect…Mister Goodie good…He probably never even made a ‘B’ in his life. I would kill to live his life for a day.”

            The Wolf whined softly.

            _What’s the point of pouring out my deepest thoughts to some animal when it can’t even understand me?_

            “Why? I just don’t get it. Why now?”

The wolf whined.

            _Between this wolf and me losing Thail. Today has been an unusual day._

A breeze drifted through the clearing. It pushed my air over my face, and covered in a thick coarse blanket of twisty coils. It nearly choked me. The wolf just huffed like it had something stuck in its’ throat, but it seemed to continue without wheezing for air.

            The wind just kept blowing…

            And continued blowing…

            While covering my face with my annoying raven locks.

            It dug into my eyes and slipped into mouth while collecting saliva at the ends.

            It knotted around my neck like a mischievous noose.

            It was so bothersome…

            _Why, me? I hate my hair. One of these days, I gonna hack this goddamn beast into a million pieces._   

            My body shook at the troublesome current, and I gritted my teeth. I violently ground my teeth into each other as I narrowed my eyes into slits.

            “That’s it…”

            “I’ve had it with this goddamn wind and my stupid ass hair.” I pulled my hair roughly into a single clumpy bun and twisted my hair tie around it. Having successfully captured the damn troublesome strands into that whimsy black band, I pointed at my scalp and laughed at it.

            “Take that, you bastard.”

            The giant wolf began hacking up continuously. So I turned to see what all the fuss was about…The damn beast was rolling around in the grass while “laughing” at me. Its’ mouth was snorting and chortling as much as a wolf could.

            It was creepy that this mutt seemed to inherit or rather convey so many human characteristics…It was beyond sublime. It was almost like I had been dropped into a darker Tim Burton-like Wonderland.

            “Think that’s funny, you wild pooch?”

            The dumb thing continued laughing and rolling around at my expense.

            “Fuck it. Buh-bye. I going to find that stupid prick Thail now. I’m tired of dealing with this hyena of a wolf. See ya’ never ya’ jerk!” I hollered.

            That wild wolf pooch was unbelievable, and I doubted anyone would believe me if I tried retelling this bizarre encounter. I dramatically huffed and turned my head away from the wolf and the clearing altogether.

            I swallowed my fear of the insidious deep green beast and slowly traipsed along the horrendous forest floor. I walked about 13 steps, and turned my head back…The wolf had vanished…into the thick creepy forest.

            “Thail,” I called.

            “Show yourself.”

            “This really isn’t funny.”

            “Kim, what are you doing?”

            I jumped about 3 feet into the air. I, then, abruptly twirled around to see him leaning against a tree with a soft expression resting on his face.

_What the fuck?! What is wrong with this guy? And why did I just waste my time running through this damn forest and have a strange conversation with some damn wolf, if Thail was fuckin’ chilling here the whole time?!_

_And did he change his jeans? Why? How? When? Where? Huh? Jesus, why? Why did I agree to this crazy bullshit? I swear I’m never doing this for Thail or the rest of Sam’s little pack ever again…Honestly, I might have been eaten by that wolf, or worse gotten lost and wasted my Saturday trying to find civilization…God knows I have no sense of direction._

            I huffed. “I should be asking you that. Who the hell creeps around in the forest in the middle of the day?”

            He gave me a lop-sided grin. “A weirdo like me. But you’re out here too. So does this mean you were worried about me?”

            My face flushed with indignation and embarrassment. “No…”

            “Kim…I think you were worried about me.”

            “You need to get over yourself. I just couldn’t bear having your possible death on my conscience. Especially since you could have been eaten by a goddamn bear or something…”

            _This ass needs to get over himself…Like today._

            He chuckled. “It’s a good thing that you came along then. Otherwise I would be getting digested by wolf stomach acids right now. Seriously I don’t know what I would have done without my little savior Kimmy.”

            I crossed my arms across my chest. “With that attitude, maybe I should have left you in here with that damn beast. Maybe dying in his stomach and burning from his stomach acid would teach you some manners.” I muttered.

            Jared sighed and stared at me with that annoying sweet smile on his stupid pretty boy face.

            “Kim, thank you. Most people wouldn’t have done that for me.”

            I wisely kept the biting comment to myself. _What are you kidding? Everyone would have done that for you, you retarded asshole. Hell, even Lahote would have run after you, and he doesn’t even contain a single shred of human decency._

            My heart thudded against my rib cage. I turned my face away from his keen predator eyes. I really hated that guy…After all, I did for him today. _I worry over him, and rush into my literal worst nightmare…And then he just smiles at me like a moron with his smooth lines…And he continues to pretend like I matter_ … _What a fucking bastard_ …

            I grabbed his arm and tugged him behind me. “Yeah. Yeah. Whatever. Now. C’mon I’m not about to waste anymore of my Saturday on anymore dumb wild goose chases through the forest…”

            “Yes, ma’am.”

            “Shut up, Thail.”

            He chuckled again, which sent my heart into a frenzy.

***

The wind blasted through my tousled bun of raven hair as I approached the cliffs. Two sets of footsteps clambered over the treacherous stones. One pair was gorgeous and ruined by nature, and the other was a muddy disgrace to other civilized humans.

_Honestly, does Thail always act like an incompetent toddler? And he could at least clean his feet…I swear he’s such an animal…But hey! I’m finally, I’m far away from that terrible forest. I swear I’m never doing that ever again. Not even if a creepy murderer pointed a gun to my head. I’d rather take the bullet and take Death’s hand into wherever the next life is._

“Hey…Thail…”

“Yeah?”

“I want to know why you made a bet with Paul to try and go out with me.”

His eyes widened in shock. His fists trembled slightly. He took a quick calming breath. “Why would you think that?”

“Why wouldn’t I think that? Why else would you even bother talking to me? You never have before…”

“Kim…”

“Thail…”

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

“Kim. Look…I never did that. Paul has done that in the past…But I never thought that was as entertaining as he did. I thought he was being a dick. I wouldn’t do that to you ever. Kim, I wanted to ask you if you wanted to hang out.”

“Yeah. And I replied with an offer with a bit of fixing the clap flap, but you turned me down remember?”

His face reddened. “Kim…I didn’t want to use your body like that.”

“Honey, I offered my body to you out of my own free will. We would have had some fun…Offer’s still on the table if you want it.” I playfully purred.

He blushed and swallowed, while his body trembled. “Thanks, I guess. I…guess I’ll give you a call if I do…change my mind…Or something.”

He was fumbling over his words. How adorable. Why hadn’t I teased and flirted with him before? He was so cute like a young virgin who was praying to an older and wiser mistress. _Well, maybe not older in the physical sense, but definitely mentally._  

 “Just teasing you, Thail. No need to get all worked up over nothing.”

_Besides, I think you deserve this punishment, after all I’ve done for you today, Mister…_

“Kim…”He sighed as he blushed and ducked his head.

“That’s my name. Don’t wear it out.”

He chuckled again. “Look, I know now why you were so cold towards me, and I’m sorry. Kim, I really did just want to talk and get to know you better. I realized yesterday what I’ve always wanted to be…”

_Cue the drumroll. Ah. Now he’s finally gonna confess what he wants from me…Probably does want to play with little ole me. After all, I’m fuckin’ irresistible. No one can deny that. Although, I am surprised at the quick turnaround._

 “And that’s your-”

_Here it comes._

“…friend…”

_Huh? The fuck? Honey, no one has ever wanted to be just friends with little ole me._

“If you want to…that is…I don’t want to force you to do something that you normally wouldn’t. I know that you tend to hang around the hard partying crowd, but you seem like you don’t hang around them outside of parties. So I didn’t know for certain if you liked having people around. But when we made eye contact, I knew that I wanted to try with you. If you want to…”

_What? Wait! He could be lying…Why the Hell would he want to talk to me? Instead of consoling his throng of worshippers. I mean really Thail, of all the bitches in the world, I’m the lucky lady you wanted to spend your Saturday. And you mean to say that you actually wanted to be friends?_

_Honey, something is wrong here…But, I wonder…Is he actually telling the truth or…I don’t know…Giving me half-truths. Because why would he give me a simple look and become struck with the realization that I was the one he wanted to be a friend?_

_And why just a friend? Seems a bit anti-climactic…Although, why do I suddenly care about our relationship status? Wasn’t I just complaining about how annoyingly sweet this dude is? And then he just waltzes in with his smooth talk and I’m supposed to melt like butter? I don’t think so…_

_But then again, I wouldn’t mind to have someone to talk to about…well my life…not everything mind you, but just some minor aspects and slowly onto the bigger ones…_

_It would be nice break from my usual bump and leave routine. Although, I still want some glorious sexual pleasure with him…After all, we would be hot together…In and out of the sheets…_

_It’s a plus that he’s a total sweetheart, so for once I’m going to enjoy seducing him every step of the way, while we hopefully also to form a deeper connection… So for once, I’m going to take my time, and patiently seize him all for myself. Eat your hearts out, Thail’s fan club._

_This is going to be fun!_

“That’s good.” I managed with a hidden smile.

“Really?”

I smirked. “Really. Really. And besides, I’d have the chance to corrupt the local good boy. And what lucky lady wouldn’t want that expertise on their resume.”

He snorted. “Yeah, I’m sure employers are looking for people with that skill listed.”

“Well, you know you learn something new every day.”

“I guess. Especially when you’re around.”

“Oh. Stop. You’ll actually make my heart grow 3 sizes.”

He chuckled. “Geez. Kim, you’re something else.”

“I know I am. But what are you?”

He laughed loudly. Then our eyes locked with one another, and our bodies inched closer until we were only a breath away. My heart pounded against my chest, and my stomach twirled around. Thail was nearing my face with drooping eye lids, and I panicked. I jerked away from him, and accidently hit his chin in the process. My hand throbbed away in brightening red patches, and curled into my palm.

Jesus, his chin felt like a heavy thick gigantic metal car hood that had just been charred down with some blow-torches. Jesus that boy was hotter than any other person I had ever met in my life. His body hurt me, and I was the one who struck him. I held in my inner scream that threatened to escape my lips. I refused to embarrass myself anymore that day. I sucked up my pain and my embarrassment, and plastered on a smirk.

“So, Thail, you go to cliffs often?”

He sighed.

“Thail?”

He mumbled something under his breath.

_Really? If you have something to say, then just say it loud and proud!_

He then looked at me with this unrecognizable emotion on his face. I reciprocated the gesture with a confused expression smeared across my face.

We just continuing stared at each other. His _awkwardly_ , might I add…We sincerely needed help…Honestly, how did our species manage to act like normal people, instead of like a bunch of anxiety filled and awkward virgin teenagers?

Luckily, the moment was broken by the moronic pack of idiots that shouted and howled at each other’s antics.

“You call that a dive, Clearwater?”

A distinct bitchy voice rose from beneath the rocks, “Fuck you, Lahote. At least, I’m not sitting on the side lines like a little bitch.”

“What did you just call me?”

“She called you a bitch, dude.”

“Quil, can it.”

“And she called you little. Which is an even bigger insult. You know since you’re such a big boy.”

“Quil, shut up.”

“Oh. Maybe if you actually jumped instead of sitting on your ass, she wouldn’t call you that. You know you can hold Bells later.”

A snarl formed across Lahote’s face.

“Do you want to die, Quil?”

Quinn sent a teasing smirk his way.

“Well, to be fair, you’re not Death, so you can’t do that. Ever. No matter how hard you try.”

_Was this guy serious? Nobody could be this stupid…_

“Oh. Yeah? Why don’t you come over here, so we can find out?”

“Oh. Oh! Well, shit.”

Lahote’s eyes flashed and he grinned a predatory smile.

“That’s right. Come over here, Quil.”

“Hey, man. I was just kidding. No need for all this killing jokes.”

“Oh. I’m gonna kill you, and then Clearwater is next.”

“Seth is going to die!”

“No, you idiot. Jesus, Quil. Were you dropped on your head as a baby?”

“Well…I never fell, but I rammed my head into everything. Because apparently I liked to test my skull. You know skulls are practically invincible. That’s why you can ram them against everything.”

Lahote gaped at Ateara.

  _This explains everything and more. How he’s managed to stay alive this long is a miracle._

_Thank God, he and I ain’t blood related. I would hate to have that Stupid Head live anywhere near me and get his moronic habits._

“Quil…”

“Yes, Paulie, old boy.”

“You’re a moron.”

“That’s not nice.”

“It’s the truth. What? You never predicated your own stupidity.”

“Paul, leave him alone.”

“Bells, this guy needs to hear how stupid he sounds.”

“Paul, Quil is not stupid.”

“Thank you, Bells.”

“Quil’s brain is just damaged from all his days of ramming his head into things.”

“Bells! I thought you were on my side.”

“Quil, I am. You do realize that ramming your head into hard surfaces is bad for your health, right?”

“It is? I thought you were supposed to bang your head.”

“No, sweetie. That’s not how that works at all.”

I coughed to hide a laugh that was trying to flee from my lips.

“Kim!” Shouted the loud-mouthed, excited and goofy idiot.

_Shit! Can’t hide now…Maybe I could just jump off a cliff now, and spare myself the trouble of dealing with this idiot. This guy does not have the slightest clue of what boundaries actually mean. Jesus fuckin’ Christ._

A stampede, better known as Quil Ateara the V, rumbled across from the cliff and directly right in front of Jared and me.  

I scooted out of the way to avoid that irritating creature.

“Kimmy,” he greeted as his face collided into Jared’s side.

He looked around confused.

“Where’d Kim go?”

He reared his head up into the air and inhaled a huge gulp of air. I raised an eyebrow contemplating why I had not stayed home.

Clearwater scoffed in the background.

Lahote even guffawed.

So he had a sense of humor…As long as the joke wasn’t aimed at him. He was all rough bark.

Swan giggled. Lahote smiled down at her.

He really needed to cool it with the googly eyes. The romantic tension nauseated me. Hopefully, I could land my discomfort on Lahote’s skin. The dream would have been landing some liquid in his eye socket.

_Hey, a girl can dream…Can’t she?_

Jared Thail rolled his eyes.

“Calm down, Quil.”

“Don’t touch me, boy.”

“I know you don’t mean that, Kimmy.”

“I do.”

_I really do. No touchy. Or you will be pushed off the cliff._

“Kimmy, give me a hug.”

“No.”

“Come here, Kimmy-Cub.”

“Leave her alone, Quil.”

“Why? I’m not doing anything.”

_You are doing the most right now, sir._

 “Quil, I’ll punch you in the face.”

_Lahote? Why are you…? Oh! You’re still mad about him insulting your manhood. Got you!_

“Why all the anger, Paulie?”

“Shut up, Quil.”

“Paul, baby, it is okay.”

“It will, after Quil loses his front teeth.”

“Paul, seriously, leave Quil be.”

Paul huffed. “Fine.”

Bella rushed over to me and engulfed me in a tight suffocating hug. I stiffened and then hid my awkwardness under a neutral expression.

“I love your swimsuit.”

“Thank you. You’re looking cute.”

“Thanks, I trying to look more alive, you know.”

“I feel you, honey.”

“So is that woman okay?”

_Uh. Oh. Not a good time._

“What?”

“Come on, Kimmy, how’s that old lady who called you by another name?”

“Can it, Big Mouth.”

“What? Paulie, I’m just asking a question.”

“You better watch out, before I ram my fist in your jaw.”

“That’s not nice.”

 _Wouldn’t that hurt Lahote’s fist? And then this lovely day would be ruined by these two nitwits_.

Clearwater then decided to pop out and strut over to us. Her face was twisted in a brief sneer, before she slowly tilted up the left side of her lip.

“So what’s up with your crazy grandmother, Connweller?”

“Cool it, Leah.”

“That’s what I was asking her. And she didn’t answer me.”

“You two shut it.”

“Ah. It’s cute that you are suddenly acting like an alpha.”

“Clearwater, I will kill you.”

“I’d like to see you try, bitch.”

“She called you a bitch again.”

“I got that, Quil.”

“I don’t think you did.”

“Quil, please, zip your lip.”

_Really, Bella? She is too adorable. Why does she like Lahote again? Or better yet why are they trying to hook up?_

“Listen to Swan, here, and…zip it.” Leah Clearwater mocked as hid an emerging parade of snorts.

Quil’s teeth emerged in a sharp and bright blinding mountain filled with peaks covered mischief and amusement.

“I heard your little lady, Paulie, and I’m going to…” Quil said as he mimed out zipping motion across his lips.

Lahote narrowed his eyes at Quil, while Bella puffed out her reddening porcelain cheeks. Clearwater covered the snorts trembling from her upper lip. Quil waved his hands like a car balloon man and swayed his upper body back and forth like an absolute fool. 

I coughed to alert the morons to stop.

They turned back to me.

“Honestly, Quil, you need to stop. You’re embarrassing yourself.”

“Kimmy!”

“Quil…”

Clearwater snorted and sneered at me.

“So you going to talk or what?”

I thinned my lips.

“Ignore Ms. Grumpy over here. She’s just mad, because you called her out back at Sam’s house.”

Clearwater snarled at Quil. “I will rip your throat out.”

Quil shrugged. “I’ll see it when I see it.”

Clearwater clenched her fists. They trembled as she anchored her dark glare on to Quil’s jaw slacking face. His eyes sharpened as he took in her tremors. They throttled across her body, her veins tightened and outlined the tense curling of her muscles.

“Enough.”

Everyone turned to spot the tense expression cemented on Jared’s face. His eyes were clouded with an emotion stuck between worry and fear. Quil whistled as his eyes flickered between my relieved face and Jared’s complicated, beautifully sculpted face. Clearwater continued trembling and her face contorted into a strange animal-like shape. Sharp and an elongated snout appeared to form at her round smooth brown nose. Her bright eyes distorted into a wilder and dangerous gleam that darted back and forth between Quil and me. Her pupils widened and darkened. It must have been some trick of the light. At least, I hoped.

I leaned my head down at Clearwater and glanced at her with my most emotionless look.

“Jesus, Clearwater. You need to get over yourself.” I declared as I casually ran my hand across my smooth hair.

Clearwater turned to me snarling and vibrating like a silenced iPhone. Lahote growled and placed Bella behind him. Quil placed his hands out to separate Leah and me. Why he did that? I had no clue.

Jared inched closer to me and flexed his arms and puffed out his shirtless chest. My eyes latched onto his muscle carved brown body. I needed help. Serious help.

Maybe there was a psych ward I could check myself into. Permanently.

Maybe he was afraid Clearwater would kick my ass with her steroid-filled self. Although, I did not believe the others were taking drugs. I definitely assumed she was hooked on something.

“Are you stupid, Connweller?”

_What is he babbling on about?_

“Chill, bro, she doesn’t know about you know...”

Lahote gritted his teeth.

“I know dumbass. But that doesn’t mean she can’t shut her trap.”

“Oh, are you going to make me, Lahote?” I retorted.

“You bet I am, Kimmy Cub.”

“Don’t call me that.”

_The nerve of this boy…_

“Guys, enough.”

“Jared, your little _friend_ needs to shut that big mouth of hers,” Lahote growled out.

“And who’s going to make me?”

“Just wait and see little girl,” Lahote mocked angrily.

I glared at him and I opened my mouth, until an irritated yet smooth voice stopped any words tumbling from my tongue.

“Do I need to repeat myself? Enough is enough.”

“Control. Your. Little. Bitch.” Gritted Leah with her teeth curled over her lips like a mad dog.

Jared growled at her.

_Did he really just do that?_

_I really am surrounded by a pack of weirdos._

He looked down at her with a menacing yet concerned glance. He looked at Quil and Paul with narrowed eyes and then nodded at them both.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

I crossed my arms.

“Bella, take her down to the beach.”

Bella sashayed over to me, and stumbled three times over the jagged rocks that blanketed by the cliffs. Her hair blew as a soft breeze brushed past our disturbed little group.  

“Oh. Okay. Hey, maybe there’s some interesting seashells.”

“Fine.”

It was not fine. It was irritating as I allowed Bella to lead down by the shoreline. I bit down every yelp and gasp that attacked the opening of my mouth. The mild irritation grew and transformed into a bitter anger of being treated like a thin glass vase with curved lines decorating the edges. We ambled down a sloped path. I kept flickering my gaze on Bella as her legs and feet touched each rock. I sucked in a tense breath.

_I hope she doesn’t fall. That would be a tragedy. I actually like her. Even though, she might like Paul._

_But I can help her get over him._

I looked at the clear blue skies. I pivoted my head back to the four fools. They were gone, except for some shredded clothes that laid across the rocky shoreline.

_This is too weird. I don’t understand…I don’t know if I want to know. But for some reason, they seem more like wild animals than people._

_Especially Lahote._

_I think I should buy him some flea shampoo or maybe a jar of tick cream._

_He’d really appreciate it._

_Or at least Bella might. She does nuzzle all over him._

The sand heated up my bare brown feet. I wiggled my toes through the grains blanketed across the shoreline. A breeze welcomed us.

“Hey, look at this.”

I looked at Bella as she leaned down to pick up a pretty pink conch shell. The shell was decorated in prominent spikes like thorns. It unfolded like a sheet in the breeze. A few sand particles sprinkled the thin knobby bottom.

“Hey, Bells, that’s a cool shell.”

“I know right.”

It was alright. I would say average.

“Everything looks cool to you, Quil.”

Bella handed the shell over to Lahote.

“Touch it.”

A deep swath of red invaded Lahote’s cheeks.

“What?”

“Touch it.”

“She said touch it, Paulie.”

“I heard her the first time, dumbass.”

“I don’t you did.”

“It’s really soft and smooth, Paul.”

“…” A deeper blush invaded Paul’s ears and neck.

“Touch her soft spot.”

I snorted.

Lahote never minded touching soft spots, before. Why he wanted to act like a total prude?

Because he was afraid to overwhelm Bella.

“Please, touch it,” urged Bella.

Lahote gulped.

I rolled my eyes. “Just touch the damn thing already, Lahote. We don’t have all day, you know.”

“Shut up, Connweller.”

He bent over and finally stroked the pink part.

“See, that wasn’t so hard, was it Lahote?”

“Shut. It. Connweller.”

“Well, she’s right.”

Lahote glared at Quil.

“Thanks for touching it.”

Lahote turned his head and rubbed his neck. “Don’t mention it.”

“What’s going on?”

Shivers and a warm blast shot through my veins.

“Hey, Jared.”

“Hey, Paul. So what’d you touch?”

“I’d rather not talk about it…”

“Paulie finally touched Bells’ sweet touch.”

Jared gagged.

I snorted.

Bella blinked.

Quil smiled like the moron he was.

Paul’s face exploded with bright strawberry patches of coloring across his cheeks, neck and ears.

Jared rubbed his temples. And mumbled something under his breath.

“It wasn’t like that…”

“Yeah, it was really cute.”

“Quil, I will kill you. Slowly.”

Quil smiled. “Love you too, Paulie.”

I snorted.

No brains lived in him. Only a big mouth.

“Is Leah okay?” Asked Bella.

“She’ll live.”

That was vague.

“Are you okay, Kim?”

I nodded. “I’m good.”

“That’s good.” He then rubbed his hands together and rocked back and forth with a pointed look directed at the other three.

“Come on, Bells, let’s go play in the waves.”

“Why? Oh. Oh! Yeah, let’s go.”

Quil then proceeded to drag her and Bella giggled as he pulled her through the sand and tossed her into the nearest tumbling wave. Bella’s hair and face were saturated with salty drops.

“Quil, I’m gonna kill you.”

“Paulie, you don’t mean that.”

“Watch me.”

_Idiot._

“Are you sure?”

“Positive,” I squeaked.

_Not one bit. I am not okay. Caution: I will melt into a Kimberly Puddle. Especially when he’s standing so close to me._

My phone then vibrated. Violently.

I slide across the screen.

“Hello.”

“You need to come in.”

“But my shift doesn’t start until 5.”

“I know, but Eric has a family emergency. So you need to come in, Miss Connweller.”

“Alright. I’ll be right there.”

“Very good. Goodbye.”

“Goodbye, sir.”

The call ended.

What an ass.

“Who was that?”

I jumped. I forgot he was there.

“My boss. I got to go. See you later?”

He nodded quickly.

“Yeah, definitely.”

“Yeah?”

He cleared his throat.

“Tomorrow?”

Not tomorrow. I was going to convince Grandpa to take me to see Mom.

“I’ll let you know.”

His lips thinned.

“Alright.”

I glanced at him pointedly.

He arched a dark eyebrow.

“I need your number, Thail.”

“Oh. Right.”

I snorted.

“Don’t tell this is your first phone exchange,” I teased.

“It is actually.”

My heart galloped.

“I thought you had more experience.”

“With this? Not really. Paul’s my only friend. And I’m not into the party scene, so no one really wants to hang out with me, you know.”

_No I didn’t. I practically lived at the high school parties._

“Oh.”

Never would have guessed in a million years that Jared Thail was selective when it came to choosing friends.

“Pretty pathetic, huh?”

No, it was endearing.

“Honey, you and pathetic don’t even belong in the same sentence.”

He chuckled.

“If you say so.”

“I know so.”

He gulped and grinned.

“Thanks, Kim.”

“Don’t mention it, Thail.”

He sighed. “Will you ever say my name?”

I shrugged and smirked. “I don’t know. You’ll have to call me and find out, sweetie.”

His Adam’s apple bobbled.

“Ok.”

I swung my hips and strutted away. I pulled my hair out of my ponytail.

“You better call me,” I hollered.

“I will.”

He didn’t. And I didn’t try dialing it either. Our schedules had ran into a brick wall covered in cluster fucks.

***

3 weeks later

Work

I pushed through the back entrance of the Council’s Meeting House. I waved at my fellow janitor who nodded at me in greeting.

Honestly, my grandfather and new Wolf-friend had nothing on Tony. Tony literally was quieter than the dead. Nobody ever heard him breath or walk. He glided in and out of the place like some kind of ghost.

I was startled by how quickly and silently he moved. Tony was odd, but not an uptight jerk like our boss. He was the human embodiment of absolute silence.

He made the dead seem like a herd of Chatty Cathy’s. Tony had a balding head with graying raven silky ribbons flowing from his head. He was thin-lipped with a hollow brown eyes and bright bulging gray circles stroked under his bottom lashes. His frame sunk into his tight skin highlighting the delicate bone structure slicing through his light brown skin. His stare struck with a grave to the soul.

He stared at me while I rung my mop in the yellow bucket. The black water swirled and rippled around like dark clouds. The darkness yanked me in, and I drowned in the terrible images and the melancholy memories that haunted me.

Flashback

Rain poured down our black-dressed attire. My Grandma stayed at home with my aunty. It was just me and Grandpa standing in the rain with the preacher who gave me the umbrella.

Sweet guy. I think his name was John Webbs. Johnny Weber. Something along those lines.

Rain puddled around us as the coffin slid into the ground. It was a cheap coffin, along with a cheap marker for my mom, but the cost didn’t matter. Celebrating her life did.

My grandpa wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

“We need to go.”

I hiccupped.

“Kim.”

I shook my head.

“No. We can’t leave…”

“Kim.”

“No, I want my mom.”

“Kim. Stop.”

“No. I’m not leaving her.”

Snot and tears poured down my face.

My grandpa then dragged me out the small cemetery. I thrashed against his grip.

“No…Mom…”

My grandpa huffed as he placed me in his truck. He slammed my door and went to the driver’s side. He rammed the keys into the engine and thrusted his truck forward into the highway and just drove.

“We need to help her.”

“She’s dead.”

“But-”

“If you start up that nonsense again, I’ll ground you for a month.”

I wrapped my arms around myself and allowed the tears to stream down my face as my lip quivered. My cheeks stained with wet strokes that eradicated any perfect foundation painted over my face.

_She can’t be gone._

_She can’t._

_No._

_Not._

_My._

_Mommy._

***

Present Work Still

Anger and sadness swirled against my chest. I pushed down those bothersome feelings grating my insides. My legs wobbled, and I forced my knees to lock myself from falling to the ground like a little baby.

My mom was dead. End of story.

She wasn’t coming back. I wouldn’t her fey-like laughter, when I retold her a silly joke or a witty remark. Or feel her hands wrap around my shoulders when I felt down. Her hands would never trace over the laminated scrapbooks filled with photos and papers. I wouldn’t hear that adorable snort or hear her complain about the rainy climate we lived in.

She was gone. And my family was left broken without her.

I shook my head and drained out the dirty water caked into the mop. I yanked it out of the bucket and swirled it across two more surfaces. I spotted a girl with red-shot eyes and bright blackish-blue bags staring back at me on the glass beside the yellow bucket. She leaned as I leaned. She tensed as I tensed.

She was as shattered as I. She was me. And yet we were both a shadow of who we used to be.

I looked up at co-worker as I rammed the mop back into the bucket.

“What’s next?” I asked in a scratched voice.

 He jabbed his thumb in the direction of the counsel’s room.

“Aren’t they in there, still?”

He shrugged and handed me a Windex cleaner and a roll of paper towels. I sighed as I juggled them and wheeled the yellow bucket back in the Janitor’s closet.

I hesitated before I opened the wooden doors. I pried them open with a gentle grip. I peered inside.

The wooden circle table held abandoned coffee mugs. Dust and brown stains formed around the cups in perfect circles. I sighed as I bent down and placed the mugs in the cabinets hanging above the coffee machine.

I sprayed down the wooden table and I felt a breeze waft into the room.

            “A little imprint all alone.”

            I whirled around and my eyes widened as I saw a red-haired woman perch on the chair under the window. Red eyes peered into me and ripped the breath out of my lungs. I shook as she stalked into my personal bubble.

            “Let’s play.”

            Blackness surrounded me as I was whisked from the meeting room. She flashed me into the woods and I branch smacked me in the head. I felt a trickle of liquid run down my nose. Then I felt a slimy, squishy thing brush across my nose.

            “Delicious.”

            _That’s gross as fuck._

Those blood red eyes pierced my mind as the pale-faced red-haired woman dragged me across the grainy beach. My lids flickered. I forced them to pry apart and stare at the monstrous maiden.

I shook as she hummed and smoothed out my hair.

“Hush, little human, soon you will join my army. Won’t it be ironic that a wolf’s mate is going to become the very thing that the wolf loathes most?”

_What is this psycho going on about? I’m gonna kick her creepy ass._

“They don’t trust you. That must piss you off.”

“With what? Their stupid little Boy Scout Club? I could care less about their little nature badges.”

She hummed innocently as she ran her hand down my hair.

“Get. Off.” I gritted.

“Such a brave human,” she sweetly purred.

  _What is she talking about? She’s human too._

She clicked her tongue.

“Ah. They never told you.”

_Don’t be a cliché, Kim. Don’t demand answers from a woman who could rip you apart in seconds._

“Aren’t you the least bit curious?”

_Of course, I am._

“Come on, it’s no fun when my prey don’t play.”

“You mean when they don’t grovel and scream, right?”

She revealed a blood stained smile.

A howl erupted from the distance.

“What is that?”

The red head turned to me with an amused expression adorned on her face. I shook as the howls and growls closed in where we were. The trees shifted and differing colored wolves inched toward the sand. They towered over the pale woman who merely smirked as they approached her. Their boulder-like shoulders rolled with domineering grace. One was mahogany. One was black. One was grey. A couple were brown and some even held lighter white spots. Others varied in many shades in different colors. Other wolves were leading up the rear behind. There seemed to be more than a dozen.

 _No, this can’t be real. This is a nightmare. A terrifying one_.

“Ah. The cavalry has arrived.”

“I don’t believe it.”

“You better start.”

“No fuckin’ way.”

“My. My. What a dirty mouth you have.”

I curved my lips up into my temples.

“Yeah, and I’m all bitch.”

She smirked.

“You a strange one.”

“So they tell me.”

She chuckled. “Goodbye. We will meet again.”

_Let’s not and say we did._

“I’ll put it down in my fucking calendar.”

She smirked and dashed into the sea.

_Freak._

Another growl and huff emerged as the same wolf who I meet mere weeks ago in the clearing. He came to nuzzle against my chest.

“Whoa. We don’t have that kind of relationship yet, pal.”

He huffed.

I chuckled.

“Thanks for bringing back up.”

He barked.

“You’re acting more like a dog. Are you sure you’re a wolf?”

He guffawed.

The leader growled and then barked at the other wolves. The others darted back into woods.

The black colored wolf leader looked at us. Then glanced back to the woods following the rest. My friend wolf laid down on sand and licked my mouth.

“What is wrong with you dude? Bad wolf.”

The wolf just barked at me.

I huffed and crossed my arms.

“Jerk.”

He pressed his nose into my cheek and then licked the dry crusted blood that lingered on my nose. He then repeated to nuzzle me and then gently pulled me up by his long fangs.

“Hey. Watch it, Fido.”

He blew into my back. Then he flipped me over onto his back and pawed the ground. My hair scattered as I groaned.

“You could have warned me.”

He huffed.

The beast abruptly turned and hastened into the green coated monster that terrified me more than any other creature I had encountered in my life. I tangled my fingers into his fur. I squinted into the darkness as the wind increased and caused my hair to completely conceal my face and chest. He rushed past a couple of clearings and multiple towering trees and plush threatening green.

“Really? You’re not a race car.”

A happy bark invaded my ears.

“Where are we going?”

Silence followed.

_Come on dummy. It’s a wolf. It can’t speak human._

_I wish it is possible, though. I really do._ _It would make things easier. I’m tired of guessing by some kind of instinctive connection between super distant evolutionary cousins._

“I hate this uniform. It rides up when you move too much. Or when inertia forces you to move.”

The wolf huffed.

“Where are you taking me?” I murmured.

He slowed and stopped in front of Sam’s house. Why would a wolf do that? I had always thought that wild animals hated humans intruding on their turf.

_This is super weird._

_But then again, weird is my new normal. I keep attracting it. Like a moth to a flame. It’s really irritating. I hope that it stops._

_I refuse to deal with any more weirdness for the rest of life._

 The wolf shook. He turned to stare at me with a deep meaningful look. I narrowed my eyes. I then slide off him. Once my feet hit the grass, the wolf darted into the woods.

Why did he do that?

A rustle from the woods and a groan followed. Jared Thail emerged from the woods. Bare-chested and butt naked. I turned around to give him some privacy.

“Ran out of clothes, Thail?” I chided to hide my discomfort.

“Something like that.”

“So are you stalking me, now? You know you could have just called?”

“Back at you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It takes two to talk, Kim.”

“Well someone has to start it.”

“Yeah, the more socially adept one should do all the talking.”

“Excuse me?”

What the hell?

“You heard me.”

I jutted out a hip.

“Why all the attitude?”

“Because I’m mad at you.”

“Oh.”

“That’s all you have to say, really Kim?”

“What else do you want me to say, Thail?”

He exhaled.

“Why can’t you call me by my name?”

I bit my lip.

“Because…”

_I’m afraid._

_I’m really afraid that I’ll fall for you and then you’ll care for me too. But eventually you’ll walk away with the realization that you deserve better._

_And you will._

_Because everyone always ends up leaving me._

“And that explains everything. Thanks, Kim.”

I thinned my lips.

“Really, not going to expand that. That’s just so you. It’s like you were made to frustrate me.”

I shook my head and gripped my arms with my manicured nails.

“Do you want me to go, Thail?”

“No. But I think you want to.”

“I don’t.”

“Well, excuse me, but I call bullshit.”

“Then you don’t know me.”

“You’ve never talked to me. So, no, I don’t know you.”

My heart slowed.

“You can turn around now. Or not. It’s up to you.”

I spun my head toward him.

As usual, he stood as the most gorgeous man in the Forks/ La Push area. The world. Perhaps, even the universe. His jean shorts highlighted the thick muscles that protruded through the rough blue material. His eyes gleamed with swirling frustration.

 _Frustration I could handle. Disappointment and abandonment I could not_.

His chest carried some patches of sand. His fingers and hands were coated in dirt, patches of green particles flared under his lengthy nails. They resembled claws. His beautiful hair had pieces of tree branches collected on the top of his forehead.

His hands and feet were scarred and cracked with bloody impressions trailing up his legs. A pair of pink bite marks traveled up his shoulder to his neck.

My hands shook and I inched a step away from him.

_Is he the wolf?_

“Look, Kim. This is going to sound weird…But it needs to be said.”

“You jerk!” I yelled.

“What are you-?”

“You’re the fucking fool.”

His eyes widened.

“Don’t bother denying it.”

“Kim…”

“Don’t Kim me, Thail.”

“You a mother fucking Wolf like from our legends.”

“Kim.”

I glared at him as a swell of anger occupied my chest.

***

A few minutes after

            “You planned me like a fool.”

            “Kim…” he said as he reached for my arm.

            “Don’t. Touch. Me.” I hissed.

            I wrenched my arm away from him. I glared at his trembling body. He stopped his tremors when he looked at me.

            “I trusted you, _Thail_ , and you betrayed me!”

            His eyes widened. “Kim, I-”

            “You know…I really thought that you were my friend.”

            “Kim, you are my friend.”

            “Bullshit. Friends don’t lie to each other. Or keep secrets from each other.”

            He snorted. “That’s rich coming from you.”

            “Excuse me?”

            “You heard me. You don’t tell me about your Grandma. Your job. Hell, you didn’t tell me about your mom’s funeral until tonight”

            I inhaled sharply. “Right…Like I could just talk to you about my crappy life…You wouldn’t get it.”

“…Kim. I’m here, and I’m trying. You just need to let me in.”

I gripped my hair. “Sorry, for disappointing you, Superman. It must be soooo aggravating for you to come and reform us tiresome dregs of society.”

“I’m not a hero, Kim…I’m…just not.”

“Poor. Jared. His perfect life is ruined because he’s a spirit warrior. Get over yourself.”

“My life isn’t perfect.”

“Oh. Please. Everything is practically given to you. My parents are dead. My grandma is struggling with that shitty brain disease. My aunt’s a newcomer to my family, but she works like a dog around my home. She even spends her savings on my grandma’s health costs. But I still don’t know her. At all… I have to deal with my grandma forgetting who I am, and smile through it all like nothing’s wrong. I hate it.

I hate that my mom died in the middle of the night alone at some hospital miles away from me. I hate that my grandpa doesn’t talk much about my dad or his emotions. I hate that my dad died for his country, and the people here have the gall to think that he was a worthless human being when he was alive. I hate how I am one of the few kids who is treated like a fuckin’ party favor and then tossed aside like I’m nothing.

I hate that I have to take showers at the school, because our water got shut off. I hate that when we cook we use bottled water for anything we eat. And most of all, I hate that everyone looks at me like trash, when I’m just a human being living my life.”

Jared stared stoically, yet his eyes filled with pity.

Why? What right did he have to look at me like that?!

A burst of rage burned against my chest. My body filled with hatred at that glance. I was tired of that look from Sam and his family, and now the council who now knew of my predicament concerning my recently deceased mother…So done with it. Wanted it burnt alive with the person who gazed at me that way.

I snarled. “How dare you look at me like that?!”

“Kim. I’m sorry that your life sucks.”

My anger vanished instantly at his bluntness. My eyes filled with tears. I turned my back to him.

“Why do you always do this?”

“Do, what?”

I sighed and gave an ugly gasp. “You actually care. It’s unreal.”

_There was no way this guy was real…People like him just couldn’t exist._

“Kim. Come here.”

I shook my head. “No, Thail.”

He chuckled deeply.

“What?”

He paused.

“Why do you never say my name?”

“…Because.”

I could practically hear the eye roll as he snorted. “Jesus, Kim…You are one unique lady.”

That was the understatement of the year…Leave it to Thail to haul in the cliché remarks. But what did I expect unique and unusual things from this guy who gave people nothing but kindness…And respect. Jared Thail was a fuckin’ saint.

“Why?”

“Huh?”

“Why were allowed into this world? Did Jesus not have enough time after saving us from our sins? So then God decided to send you? His like second best?”

“You’re crazy, Kim.”

“Yeah, but you like that about me.”

“…”

“Speechless, I see. I tend to have that effect on most people.”

“Kim…”

“Yes?”

“Are you sure you’re not bipolar?”

“And this is based on…”

“Your constant mood swings…”

“Okay…And do I experience _extreme_ mood swings? That occur in a varied amount of time from a period of weeks, months or even years?”

“Um…No?”

“Then there is no certainty that I Kimberly Connweller may or may not be bipolar.”

He sighed in a long-worn out fashion. Apparently, I had irritated his ass, and I really didn’t care.

“Jesus. Kim, I swear you’re going to give me a heart attack one of these days…”

“Is that a promise, Thail?”

“Are you ever going to call me by my name?”

“I don’t know…”

“Kim…”

“Yes, Thail?”

“Why are you scared to get close to people?”

“Thail, look around…My entire life is filled with people dying on me or suffering in their own Hell holes. Why would I do that to you? With my luck, I’d send you running into Clearwater’s arms.”

“I wouldn’t do that to you…Ever, Kim. Besides I think Leah hates my guts.”

I chuckled as tears formed, and threatened to skate down my cheek. I wiped them away.

_Thank you, Jared Thail. You are truly amazing._

“Well, I suppose I could let you stick around for a while. After all, I need to show you off to all the other girls what they missing out on.”

 “Why?”

“Because you’re hot. Duh.”

Jared stiffened.

“Oh…I made you uncomfortable.”

Jared shifted and rolled out his shoulders. I clicked my tongue. I loathed the quiet that stretched out between us. I wasn’t one for silence. That was my Grandpa’s thing. Not mine.

“So will did you become a shifter?”

“I’m not a shifter.”

“Oh. Really? If that’s how you want to play this.”

“I’m a werewolf.”

“No, you’re not.”

He turned to me. “Don’t tell me what I know.”

I smirked. “You know nothing, Thail.”

He groaned. “Are we back to you frustrating me at every turn?”

“Yep.” I said. Popping the “p”.

“Kim, I think you’ll be the end of me.”

“You’re probably right. But look up at the sky.”

He craned up to peer at the bright twinkling white lights and the crescent moon that hovered in dark blue sky.

“That sure doesn’t look like a full moon to me.”

Jared leaned his head down and cracked a small smile at me.

“Guess you’re right, Kim.”

I fanned myself. “Cool it, baby. You want to make me fall for you? You have to do better than that.”

“If that’s what you want.”

I giggled. “I never thought Jared would be a masochist.”

His lips parted.

I propped my hands on my hips.

“What?”

He blinked and cleared his throat before he rubbed the back of his thick neck.

“This is the first time, you’ve called me by my first name without my last name present.”

I blinked and then smirked.

“It’s not a problem for you, is it?”

He smiled. “Not ever a little.”

“Good.”

“Great.”

“You better enjoy this.” I stated as I pointed between the two of us.

He scrunched his eyebrows.

“You mean you want more than a friendship with me?”

I blushed.

“Only if you want to. I’m not going to force you into it.”

He bowed. “I’d love nothing more than to be your boyfriend.”

“I’d hope so. I am extraordinary after all.”

His laugh boomed throughout the edge of the woods.

“Kimberly Connweller, you will be the death of me.”

“You bet your sexy ass, I will.”

He howled and I giggled as we happily made love under the starry night sky.

I even had the bite marks to prove it. My man Jared Thail sure loved to bite.

And we lived averagely ever after.

Minus the 7 pups we had and the vampire bitch who threatened to kill everyone we loved, but that is only the cherry on this weird supernatural sundae I gravitated into.

La de da.

*Fin*


End file.
